Sticking With It

By Stephanie S.

I was not a “one hit wonder”, the term used for those who stop drinking after their first AA meeting. My road to recovery was more aptly summed up by the expression, “If at first you don’t succeed, try try again”.

My drinking became problematic only in my late 40’s. Up until then, I loved alcohol, but hadn’t crossed that line from wanting a drink to needing a drink, which to me is the definition of addiction. So, it took me a while to realize I NEEDED to drink every evening. I couldn’t imagine ending my work day without that magical potion to lighten my mood, lessen my irritability, and allow me to walk through the door of my home with a smile on my face and not feel that making dinner was burdensome or that the world was coming to an end if my kids left their dishes in the sink. I couldn’t imagine any social event, celebration, or vacation without it. It insidiously became my go to when feeling bored, frustrated, angry, tired, unmotivated, happy, relaxed. Just about everything.

After a while though, other effects became more apparent. I would be more impulsive, saying things I would have censored when sober, overreacting, sending off unedited, rambling emails, forgetting conversations I had the night before. I had trouble sleeping, felt tired most days, increasingly anxious.

That was bad, but the worst part was when I started trying to stop. It was the rare occasion that I appeared noticeably intoxicated, so my kids and my friends never picked up on it. Only my husband did and he was getting increasingly concerned. When I very reluctantly started going to AA meetings, I told my family and friends of my problem. No one seemed shocked. Everyone was supportive. Instead of the disappointment I was expecting, I received praise for facing my problem. It was a huge relief. But, when it turned out that I wasn’t able to stay sober for more than a few weeks or months at a time, I found myself drinking secretively. I could no longer drink in front of the people I had told.

The hiding and lying that resulted, became as much of a problem as the drinking. I had never known this part of myself or imagined I could behave this way. It created a split in my mind. It was as if their were two TV channels – the AM channel that announced emphatically every morning that I was no longer going to drink, and the PM channel that said equally emphatically-screw it, go ahead! I felt out of control and increasingly disconnected from myself. Every day, the same 2 channels would come on the air, and never at the same time. It was crazy making.

Only after many, many attempts to stop did something finally click. Now, each time I thought of drinking, I was able to access the voice that said, “Who are you kidding? You can’t just have one! And, not only that, the moment you do, you will fall into the same quicksand you have fallen into each time you thought you could. And, remember how hard it is to come out.” Only after many, many attempts to stop did it click that it was no longer worth it.

The experience of having piece of mind, clarity of mind, room to think about other things now that the constant obsessing was gone, being unburdened by the shame that comes with lying and hiding-it all felt so wonderful! To think of jeopardizing this no longer made sobriety all about willpower and deprivation. Instead, it felt like a precious gift I never wanted to lose.

A number of years ago, I wrote a song about my road to recovery. My voice and piano playing are not robust, so I asked my son who is an aspiring hip hop producer to sing it and embellish the music a bit. He said he would, but being busy with his own projects and not feeling comfortable singing outside of his genre, it never happened. Last month was my birthday, and his gift to me was his making of my song. It was another precious gift.

Here are the lyrics and the song, Until You Try:

Addiction center outlines use for life-saving Stimulus $$$$

Addiction Recovery Bulletin

WATCH – THE GOOD STIMULANT – 

March 11, 2021 – Federal aid from the $1.9 Trillion dollar Covid Relief Bill recently passed, will make a difference for many treatment centers helping them balance the changes brought on by the pandemic.

more@WOWT

The post Addiction center outlines use for life-saving Stimulus $$$$ appeared first on Addiction/Recovery eBulletin.

1.9 Trillion Rescue Plan Includes SUD Treatment Provider Funding

Addiction Recovery Bulletin

AMERICAN SPRING – 

March 10, 2010 – Recognizing the increased need for SUD treatment services, the massive spending bill includes funding for numerous substance use disorder programs. While the focus in the bill centers on publicly funded treatment, a substantial amount of funding is still available for all SUD treatment providers…

This legislation includes:

1. $1.75 billion for each of the Substance Use Prevention and Treatment and Community Mental Health programs administered by SAMHSA.

2. $80 million for mental and behavioral health training for healthcare professionals and public safety officers.

3. $20 million for a national evidence-based education and awareness campaign targeting health care professionals and first responders and $40 million to promote mental and behavioral health among their work force.

4. $30 million for a new program at SAMHSA to provide prevention programs for overdose and other drug misuse.

5. $100 million for the Behavioral Health Workforce Education and Training program at HRSA, to expand access to services through focused training.

The legislation includes direct payments of up to $1,400 to most Americans, a $300 weekly boost to jobless benefits into September, and an expansion of the child tax credit for one year.

more@NAATP

The post 1.9 Trillion Rescue Plan Includes SUD Treatment Provider Funding appeared first on Addiction/Recovery eBulletin.

Young addicts use art to ‘stay clean’

Addiction Recovery Bulletin

WATCH – DRAWING A LINE, NOT DOING ONE – 

March 1, 2021 –  “I’m used to seeing people like me multiple times per week, but with social distancing and restrictions on gathering size, I have not gotten to see people like me and it’s been really horrible and really lonely and a huge adjustment period.” Lexi started working with Hope Creates 4 years ago.

“The other people that I’ve met here are the same, I would not know these sober artists, I wouldn’t be doing art anymore if it wasn’t for Hope Creates.” It had such a lasting impact on her, she’s now on the Creative Advisory Board helping new artists fight off addiction, through expressive art. But she says it’s become harder over the past year to keep the same sense of community.

“With Hope Creates they have stayed alive through this time period and I’ve been able to meet virtually with them … and its been really awesome to be quote on quote with my people “

Kathie Thomas-Dietz founded the 501(c)(3) back in 2017. For her it was a project with a personal mission. “The reason I started it was because my husband and I have 5 kids and one of our daughters is a recovering addict,” Thomas-Dietz said. They tried multiple approaches, but nothing worked. That is until she came across the program that used Enthusiastic Sobriety.

more@KMOV4

The post Young addicts use art to ‘stay clean’ appeared first on Addiction/Recovery eBulletin.

James Taylor regrets giving John Lennon opiates

Addiction Recovery Bulletin

YOU’VE GOT A FRIEND? – 

March 2, 2021 – People who walk through the glittery door of showbiz almost always go down the slippery slope of drug addiction coupled with alcoholism. To cope up with the demands of a brutal public life, artists have fallen back on drugs time and again to make themselves feel “normal”. For a commoner who looks up to these larger-than-life figures and their glamorous lifestyles, the idea of popularity being overbearing might be a little hard to grasp. But in truth, the very act of maintaining this God-like stature can make one extremely wretched. Moreover, excessive visibility exposes the artists’ vulnerable selves, making them victims of unfiltered and unwanted criticisms from thousands of unknown people. It’s almost like they wait eagerly for one slip up so that they can hurl chunks of opinions, causing the receiver injury.

John Lennon was similarly pulled into the dark hole of drug dependency. Although the period of the cultural revolution, spanning from the 1960s to early 1970s, saw the increased use of hallucinogenic drugs, often for creative purposes, Lennon’s relationship with it transgressed the artistic boundaries. The Beatles’ fixation on weed was not unknown, but it was mostly an innocent habit, an endorsement of the cultural wave: “The Beatles had gone beyond comprehension. We were smoking marijuana for breakfast. We were all into marijuana and nobody could communicate with us, because we were just glazed eyes, giggling all the time,” said Lennon.

more@FarOutMag

The post James Taylor regrets giving John Lennon opiates appeared first on Addiction/Recovery eBulletin.

ARcare Joins Hazelden Betty Ford’s Network

Addiction Recovery Bulletin

A PARTNERSHIP FOR GOOD – 

March 3, 2021 – “We are thrilled to welcome ARcare to our Patient Care Network as a collaborative member—our first from the tri-state area of Arkansas, Mississippi and Kentucky,” said Bob Poznanovich, Vice President of Business Development for Hazelden Betty Ford, the nation’s largest nonprofit provider of addiction treatment, co-occurring mental health care, recovery resources and related prevention and education services.

“Our shared mission—to provide quality, comprehensive, evidence-based care centered on the whole person—makes for a natural partnership, and our varied experiences and expertise will allow us to learn from each other as well,” Poznanovich added. “Together, we will expand the reach of the Hazelden Betty Ford Patient Care Network and help even more individuals, families and communities find hope, healing and recovery from addiction and mental health concerns.”

more@TalkBusiness

The post ARcare Joins Hazelden Betty Ford’s Network appeared first on Addiction/Recovery eBulletin.

Cardiovascular Consequences of Drug Use

Addiction Recovery Bulletin

ONE FROM THE HEART – 

Feb. 26, 2021 – Cannabis, or marijuana, is increasingly used both recreationally and therapeutically worldwide. 7,8 Particularly, the major chemical compounds excreting these effects are D-9-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) and cannabidiol (CBD). While the benefits of cannabis are numerous, few of them are cardiovascular-related, and cannabis’ true risk to the cardiovascular system is poorly understood. In terms of adverse cardiovascular consequences, THC appears to impart most of the negative impact, but larger and longer-term outcomes are lacking. 7,8 Mechanistically, THC stimulates the sympathetic nervous system while concurrently inhibiting the parasympathetic nervous system, leading to increased heart rate and elevated blood pressure, which effects myocardial oxygen demand (Table 1). Furthermore, it appears THC can lead to platelet activation and overtime associated endothelial dysfunction and oxidative stress. In addition, impurities in cannabis products can induce or exacerbate these effects.

more@PsychiatricTimes

The post Cardiovascular Consequences of Drug Use appeared first on Addiction/Recovery eBulletin.

Al-Anon: What is it? Who is invited?

Addiction Recovery Bulletin

AT LEAST YOU HAVE TO KNOW SOMEONE – 

March 4, 2021 – It has spread throughout the United States, as well as worldwide. Each Al-Anon Family Group has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the 12 steps of AA ourselves by encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives, and by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics. We, too, are a 12-step program of our own recovery and our own return to sanity. “Progress begins when we stop trying to control the uncontrollable and when we go on to correct what we have the right to change,” from “One Day at a Time” — March 26.

We welcome you into our program and to visit a meeting. We realize the trepidation of entering our doors for the first time. Each of us went to a first meeting also. Bring a friend if you like. We invite you to experience, with us, the opportunity to grow and to experience the awareness that the program can…

more@IdahoStateJournal

The post Al-Anon: What is it? Who is invited? appeared first on Addiction/Recovery eBulletin.

The Importance of Sharing Stories

Addiction Recovery Bulletin

AND OF BEING EARNEST – 

March 3, 2021 – As human beings, we are all defined by our personal experiences, both positive and negative. Our experiences make us who we are, and in many ways, they connect us to the people in our environment.

We’re naturally drawn to people who share similar experiences, particularly difficult ones. That’s why support groups are so impactful when it comes to grieving, coping and recovering. People who have been diagnosed with cancer find solace and support in the presence of other cancer sufferers. The same is true for mothers who have lost children or people who have loved ones in prison.

more@Forbes

The post The Importance of Sharing Stories appeared first on Addiction/Recovery eBulletin.

Overdose Deaths Surge Among Black Americans

Addiction Recovery Bulletin

UNCIVIL WAR – 

March 3, 2021 – Jenkins, who lives in upstate New York, says her mom, Sonya Hughey, had a hard life, first using crack cocaine when she was a teenager. 

The loneliness and isolation of the pandemic made Hughey’s substance use disorder worse. She was using methamphetamines and in November she was arrested. According to Jenkins, her mother tried to get help. “She asked, you know? Can I get the rehab? I have a drug problem. They said no. Rehab wasn’t an option for her.”

In December, Hughey who was 48 years old used methamphetamines contaminated with the deadly synthetic opioid fentanyl. “We got a phone call from my mom’s boyfriend that he found her dead,” Jenkins said. 

Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention say fatal drug overdoses nationwide have surged roughly 20% during the pandemic, killing more than 83,000 people in 2020.

more@NPR

The post Overdose Deaths Surge Among Black Americans appeared first on Addiction/Recovery eBulletin.