Category: From AA Agnostica

In Memory of Denis

Fifty Chosen Articles:
Number Thirty-One.
Originally posted in May 2016.

Denis started the first agnostic AA meeting in the city of Vancouver.

By Dan V.

Today I write with a heavy heart and with great sadness about a man whose name is Denis Kilborn.

On April 1, 2016, he passed away from cancer complications.

His sobriety date was April 28, 1975. He was introduced to AA in Toronto, Ontario, and it was there that he met his first sponsor, Jack. It was Jack who told Denis you don’t do steps, you live them, which he followed for the rest of his life.

In his 41 years in AA he helped countless numbers of people, as a sponsor and as a friend. AA was his life – he was always working with newcomers – and the life of his family.

His wife’s parents – her father, Bud, was Denis’ sponsor when he moved to the west coast and that, of course, is how he met his wife – were both alcoholics and had over 50 years each of sobriety in AA.

He had three children; two daughters and a son. His son James was in the program as both an alcoholic and addict, and spent a great deal of time in treatment, until his death on September 26, 2013 at the young age of 23 as a result of a drug overdose.

Denis was not only my sponsor for 32 years but also my trusted friend.

I first met him on February 14, 1984. On Valentine’s Day. At the time he was doing a tremendous amount of 12 Step work, had lots of different sponsees and was very, very active in taking the message to people. On that day Denis became my sponsor and was not only my sponsor for 32 years, but also very much a trusted friend. He always referred to me as his Valentine’s Day present.

I’ve only had one sponsor in all my time in recovery, and he’s the guy.

AA was a simple program for Denis.

Except…

Twenty five years in sobriety, in the year 2000, Denis checked himself into a treatment centre. It was there that he found answers to some burning questions that had tormented him throughout his recovery process.

It had everything to do with his belief system. He had faked it for so long in AA and could no longer handle the internal struggles as a result. “What do I believe? What don’t I believe?” were the questions on the table in that period of treatment.

And that’s where he started verbalizing his lack of belief in God.

Now he had this new-found idea that you actually can get sober and maintain sobriety at a level that is conducive to a good life without a God. Well, this is going against everything that he had heard over the last twenty-five years. His big question then was, “Who do I share that with?”

It was then that a decision was made to help widen the path of AA for all who suffer.

Denis started the first agnostic AA meeting in the city of Vancouver.

The meeting sort of morphed into an agnostic meeting. It began as a Step meeting that attracted a number of guys who were like-minded and at one point they all realized, “Wow, we are all agnostics and atheists!” There wasn’t a god-believing person in the room.

At this time Denis read about the agnostic groups in Toronto being booted out of Intergroup (you can read that here: Fight Over God Splits Toronto AA Groups) and he decided, along with the group, that this is where they were going to make their stand, this would be their “Waterloo”. So Denis registered the meeting with Vancouver Intergroup as “We Agnostics”.

He also helped start a Tuesday night meeting called “Sober Agnostics”. Its founding meeting was on May 7, 2013, and it is still going strong.

It too was registered with Central Office and on the Vancouver AA meeting list.

But that’s when the problem arose in Vancouver. The groups were not only originally accepted but they were welcomed. The person at Central Office said “Fantastic! It’s time we had one of these meetings in Vancouver”, and then a short time later that individual was let go or fired and then the meetings were stricken from the list.

This did not go well with some people. I personally wanted to lash out, however, Denis calmly stood his ground and as a result of that agnostic AA is flourishing in Vancouver today, thanks to our elder statesman. Denis was the poster child of agnostic AA in Vancouver.

When he found AA Agnostica it was like, “Wow, there is the family I have been looking for. We were lost and now we have found each other…” The wonderful articles. The great comments.

About two years ago Denis was told that a shadow was seen on his lungs. After many tests and doctor appointments, two months ago he was told he had stage 4 lung cancer. With treatment he should live a little over a year.

Never one to duck the challenge, he simply said “it is what it is”, “let’s fight this to the end”, and with good humor and integrity he marched forward.

On April 1/16 he awoke like any other day, drove to his favorite coffee shop to meet with his friends. Feeling a bit funny he decided to go home to lie down and rest, and that is where he died three hours later.

On a personal note, Denis and I spoke the same language. It is the language of someone who has been where you are. It is in the eyes, the eyes of a true friend and confidant. Without words so much is said.

It is in the silence that I heard his voice, “don’t drink and go to meetings”, which is still working today, some 32 years later.

Thank you Denis, you helped me save my life and the life of my family. I will forever be grateful.

Your friend,
Dan V.

Roger’s Footnote: Denis and I were great pals. We talked on the phone at least once a week. If he were in Toronto, we would get together at a meeting and for dinner. We were both in Santa Monica for the convention. In January, he used his points to cover the cost of my flight to Vancouver so that he, Dan and I could go down to Olympia, Washington, together for the Widening Our Gateway agnostic AA conference. What a great time the three of us had together.

It was on the way to Olympia that we stopped at one of his favourite diners, the Argo Cafe, and that’s where I took the above photo of Denis.

Denis was determined to live each and every remaining day as fully as possible, one day and one moment at time. Sounds like something he might have learned in AA. Another friend of his, Mike D, phoned me the day he died. He reported that Denis had told him that the previous day had been one of the best days of his life. I am overwhelmed by sadness every time I think of Denis, but that thought makes me smile, makes me happy.

For a PDF of this article, click here: In Memory of Denis.

The post In Memory of Denis first appeared on AA Agnostica.

In Memory of Denis

Fifty Chosen Articles:
Number Thirty-One.
Originally posted in May 2016.

Denis started the first agnostic AA meeting in the city of Vancouver.

By Dan V.

Today I write with a heavy heart and with great sadness about a man whose name is Denis Kilborn.

On April 1, 2016, he passed away from cancer complications.

His sobriety date was April 28, 1975. He was introduced to AA in Toronto, Ontario, and it was there that he met his first sponsor, Jack. It was Jack who told Denis you don’t do steps, you live them, which he followed for the rest of his life.

In his 41 years in AA he helped countless numbers of people, as a sponsor and as a friend. AA was his life – he was always working with newcomers – and the life of his family.

His wife’s parents – her father, Bud, was Denis’ sponsor when he moved to the west coast and that, of course, is how he met his wife – were both alcoholics and had over 50 years each of sobriety in AA.

He had three children; two daughters and a son. His son James was in the program as both an alcoholic and addict, and spent a great deal of time in treatment, until his death on September 26, 2013 at the young age of 23 as a result of a drug overdose.

Denis was not only my sponsor for 32 years but also my trusted friend.

I first met him on February 14, 1984. On Valentine’s Day. At the time he was doing a tremendous amount of 12 Step work, had lots of different sponsees and was very, very active in taking the message to people. On that day Denis became my sponsor and was not only my sponsor for 32 years, but also very much a trusted friend. He always referred to me as his Valentine’s Day present.

I’ve only had one sponsor in all my time in recovery, and he’s the guy.

AA was a simple program for Denis.

Except…

Twenty five years in sobriety, in the year 2000, Denis checked himself into a treatment centre. It was there that he found answers to some burning questions that had tormented him throughout his recovery process.

It had everything to do with his belief system. He had faked it for so long in AA and could no longer handle the internal struggles as a result. “What do I believe? What don’t I believe?” were the questions on the table in that period of treatment.

And that’s where he started verbalizing his lack of belief in God.

Now he had this new-found idea that you actually can get sober and maintain sobriety at a level that is conducive to a good life without a God. Well, this is going against everything that he had heard over the last twenty-five years. His big question then was, “Who do I share that with?”

It was then that a decision was made to help widen the path of AA for all who suffer.

Denis started the first agnostic AA meeting in the city of Vancouver.

The meeting sort of morphed into an agnostic meeting. It began as a Step meeting that attracted a number of guys who were like-minded and at one point they all realized, “Wow, we are all agnostics and atheists!” There wasn’t a god-believing person in the room.

At this time Denis read about the agnostic groups in Toronto being booted out of Intergroup (you can read that here: Fight Over God Splits Toronto AA Groups) and he decided, along with the group, that this is where they were going to make their stand, this would be their “Waterloo”. So Denis registered the meeting with Vancouver Intergroup as “We Agnostics”.

He also helped start a Tuesday night meeting called “Sober Agnostics”. Its founding meeting was on May 7, 2013, and it is still going strong.

It too was registered with Central Office and on the Vancouver AA meeting list.

But that’s when the problem arose in Vancouver. The groups were not only originally accepted but they were welcomed. The person at Central Office said “Fantastic! It’s time we had one of these meetings in Vancouver”, and then a short time later that individual was let go or fired and then the meetings were stricken from the list.

This did not go well with some people. I personally wanted to lash out, however, Denis calmly stood his ground and as a result of that agnostic AA is flourishing in Vancouver today, thanks to our elder statesman. Denis was the poster child of agnostic AA in Vancouver.

When he found AA Agnostica it was like, “Wow, there is the family I have been looking for. We were lost and now we have found each other…” The wonderful articles. The great comments.

About two years ago Denis was told that a shadow was seen on his lungs. After many tests and doctor appointments, two months ago he was told he had stage 4 lung cancer. With treatment he should live a little over a year.

Never one to duck the challenge, he simply said “it is what it is”, “let’s fight this to the end”, and with good humor and integrity he marched forward.

On April 1/16 he awoke like any other day, drove to his favorite coffee shop to meet with his friends. Feeling a bit funny he decided to go home to lie down and rest, and that is where he died three hours later.

On a personal note, Denis and I spoke the same language. It is the language of someone who has been where you are. It is in the eyes, the eyes of a true friend and confidant. Without words so much is said.

It is in the silence that I heard his voice, “don’t drink and go to meetings”, which is still working today, some 32 years later.

Thank you Denis, you helped me save my life and the life of my family. I will forever be grateful.

Your friend,
Dan V.

Roger’s Footnote: Denis and I were great pals. We talked on the phone at least once a week. If he were in Toronto, we would get together at a meeting and for dinner. We were both in Santa Monica for the convention. In January, he used his points to cover the cost of my flight to Vancouver so that he, Dan and I could go down to Olympia, Washington, together for the Widening Our Gateway agnostic AA conference. What a great time the three of us had together.

It was on the way to Olympia that we stopped at one of his favourite diners, the Argo Cafe, and that’s where I took the above photo of Denis.

Denis was determined to live each and every remaining day as fully as possible, one day and one moment at time. Sounds like something he might have learned in AA. Another friend of his, Mike D, phoned me the day he died. He reported that Denis had told him that the previous day had been one of the best days of his life. I am overwhelmed by sadness every time I think of Denis, but that thought makes me smile, makes me happy.

For a PDF of this article, click here: In Memory of Denis.

The post In Memory of Denis first appeared on AA Agnostica.

The 2018 International Conference of Secular AA

Fifty Chosen Articles:
Number Thirty.
The last of the three international secular AA conferences.
Originally posted in September 2018.

The history and growth of Secular AA over the past decade.

By Carolyn B.

I am a relative newcomer to Secular AA (just over one year) and on attending the International Conference of Secular AA in downtown Toronto at the Marriott Hotel this past weekend I experienced the same feelings of joy, relief and of having finally found my people that I experienced in my first meeting of secular AA.

With 268 delegates from around the world – including countries such as Great Britain, France, Australia and Poland – the conference was filled with a sense of fellowship and lively debate. Secular AA is alive, vibrant, willing to consider change, tackle difficult questions and to consider how we will move into the future. The theme and focus of the conference was on inclusion and diversity.

There were many topics discussed in the conference plus there were concurrent sessions. There were seven panels held in the main ballroom. And a total of 30 workshops! I could not attend as many as I would have liked. Topics ranged from online meetings, anonymity, LGBTQ meetings, atheist beliefs and secular AA. Other sessions included starting Secular groups and organizing regional conferences, women’s issues in AA, and Secular Al-Anon to name a few. Here are some titles of the panels and workshops (you can see all of them here, ICSAA Agenda):

  • History of Secular AA
  • She Devils AA Meeting
  • Emotional Sobriety: The New Frontier
  • Are Atheist Thumpers Dividing Secular AA?
  • The Biology, Psychology and Philosophy of Spirituality
  • How to Start a Secular AA Meeting
  • My Pet is Step 2
  • Relationship Repair in Recovery

There were several sessions that stood out for me and may be of interest to others. They were on the themes of recovery and spirituality.

First, recovery. There was considerable discussion on what recovery means and as you and I know many feel it is a process rather than an actual state. There were interesting discussions on what has been found to be helpful in recovery; that quitting drinking is not enough as we all know. “Recovery Capital” was the name of a wonderful workshop conducted by Dr. Ray Baker, from British Columbia. Recovery Capital is defined as “the volume of internal and external resources that can be drawn upon to initiate and sustain recovery from addiction” (Granfield & Cloud 1999). This involves focusing on one’s physical, social, cognitive, behavioural and spiritual life. Of course this makes sense for those of us who are addicted.

Second, spirituality. There was a spectrum of opinion expressed by atheists on the place of spirituality in Secular AA. Some of the more militant atheist members feel that using the word spirituality in the secular groups makes us more like traditional AA and they oppose this. Others have a more broad concept of spirituality. Both atheists and agnostics share ideas of spirituality as not being religious; but, rather they used such terms as “ethical spirituality”, “self – transcendence” and “transcendence”. I offer these ideas for your consideration.

One Big TentOne of the people at the conference was Jon W, the senior editor of the AA Grapevine. Jon was part of a panel organized by Roger C on The History of Secular AA. The Grapevine has put together a book in which “Atheist and agnostic AA members share their experience, strength and hope”. The book contains 43 stories by nonbelievers in AA previously published by the Grapevine, the first in May 1968 and the most recent in October 2016.

Although it was not yet officially published, 250 copies were made available at the conference. The title of the book, One Big Tent, perfectly reflects the theme of the conference, diversity and inclusiveness, and is an important part of the contemporary history of the secular movement within Alcoholics Anonymous!

I need as well to report that there were three excellent keynote speakers at the conference. The first one to speak was Dr. Vera Tarman. Her topic was “More was my Higher Power”. In the panel on spirituality she also talked about the biology of spirituality, which was fascinating, to say the very least.

The second speaker was Deirdre S from New York who gave a talk entitled “The Cross-Addicted Mind: How Obsessive Use of Substances and Behaviors Fuels Alcoholism”. She also spoke at the Austin convention and you can read her talk here, A History of Special Interest Groups in AA.

And finally, the talk “AA: do we need God to make it work? A medical-scientific analysis” was presented by Dr. Ray Baker, who also did the workshop on Recovery Capital. He is writing a book about addiction, the working title is Recovery Medicine, and I really look forward to it being published!

As mentioned previously there were many ideas and questions raised throughout the conference. Questions that I need to think about and you may also want to consider are:

  1. Do we need to use the Secular 12 Steps in our meetings?
  2. Do we ever need the 12 steps at all in Secular AA?
  3. How do we make our meetings open to youth?
  4. Are there specific readings that we can use in Secular AA that are not part of traditional AA? If so what would they be?
  5. How closely affiliated do we want Secular AA to be with Traditional AA?

These are some of the highlights, ideas and questions that were discussed at the conference. I present them here for your consideration.

And while there was a stimulating and exciting diversity of opinion at the conference, there was also agreement on key issues. At the membership business meeting on Sunday morning two statements were adopted unanimously by those at the conference.

The first is our mission statement, the mission of secular AA:

Our mission is to assure suffering alcoholics that they can find sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous without having to accept anyone else’s beliefs or deny their own. Secular AA does not endorse or oppose any form of religion or belief system and operates in accordance with the Third Tradition of the Alcoholics Anonymous Program: “The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking”.

The second is our vision statement:

Secular AA recognizes and honors the immeasurable contributions that Alcoholics Anonymous has made to assist individuals to recover from alcoholism. We seek to ensure that AA remains an effective, relevant and inclusive program of recovery in an increasingly secular society. The foundation of Secular AA is grounded in the belief that anyone – regardless of their spiritual beliefs or lack thereof – can recover in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. Secular AA exists to serve the community of secularly-minded alcoholics by supporting worldwide access to secularly formatted AA meetings and fostering mutual support within a growing population of secularly-minded alcoholics.

The conference was an opportunity to think about the larger issues facing Secular AA and my place in it. It was a very exciting conference for me. While the conference was intellectually stimulating, in no way does it take away the importance from what we do in our groups each week. For me, our group provides safety, fellowship, an opportunity to learn from others and to share my issues on my path to recovery. While the conference was stimulating, I am so grateful I have my group!

Carolyn B is a retired educator. She was initially involved in traditional AA but always found the “god” part not true to her beliefs. On moving to Hamilton, Ontario she discovered the We Agnostics Group. She has been an active and grateful member ever since.

During his workshop at the conference, Dr. Ray Baker shared this slide that lists the ways in which recovery can be achieved and supported within Alcoholics Anonymous:

Therapeutic Components of AA

For a PDF of this article, click here: The 2018 International Conference of Secular AA.

 

The post The 2018 International Conference of Secular AA first appeared on AA Agnostica.

The 2018 International Conference of Secular AA

Fifty Chosen Articles:
Number Thirty.
The last of the three international secular AA conferences.
Originally posted in September 2018.

The history and growth of Secular AA over the past decade.

By Carolyn B.

I am a relative newcomer to Secular AA (just over one year) and on attending the International Conference of Secular AA in downtown Toronto at the Marriott Hotel this past weekend I experienced the same feelings of joy, relief and of having finally found my people that I experienced in my first meeting of secular AA.

With 268 delegates from around the world – including countries such as Great Britain, France, Australia and Poland – the conference was filled with a sense of fellowship and lively debate. Secular AA is alive, vibrant, willing to consider change, tackle difficult questions and to consider how we will move into the future. The theme and focus of the conference was on inclusion and diversity.

There were many topics discussed in the conference plus there were concurrent sessions. There were seven panels held in the main ballroom. And a total of 30 workshops! I could not attend as many as I would have liked. Topics ranged from online meetings, anonymity, LGBTQ meetings, atheist beliefs and secular AA. Other sessions included starting Secular groups and organizing regional conferences, women’s issues in AA, and Secular Al-Anon to name a few. Here are some titles of the panels and workshops (you can see all of them here, ICSAA Agenda):

  • History of Secular AA
  • She Devils AA Meeting
  • Emotional Sobriety: The New Frontier
  • Are Atheist Thumpers Dividing Secular AA?
  • The Biology, Psychology and Philosophy of Spirituality
  • How to Start a Secular AA Meeting
  • My Pet is Step 2
  • Relationship Repair in Recovery

There were several sessions that stood out for me and may be of interest to others. They were on the themes of recovery and spirituality.

First, recovery. There was considerable discussion on what recovery means and as you and I know many feel it is a process rather than an actual state. There were interesting discussions on what has been found to be helpful in recovery; that quitting drinking is not enough as we all know. “Recovery Capital” was the name of a wonderful workshop conducted by Dr. Ray Baker, from British Columbia. Recovery Capital is defined as “the volume of internal and external resources that can be drawn upon to initiate and sustain recovery from addiction” (Granfield & Cloud 1999). This involves focusing on one’s physical, social, cognitive, behavioural and spiritual life. Of course this makes sense for those of us who are addicted.

Second, spirituality. There was a spectrum of opinion expressed by atheists on the place of spirituality in Secular AA. Some of the more militant atheist members feel that using the word spirituality in the secular groups makes us more like traditional AA and they oppose this. Others have a more broad concept of spirituality. Both atheists and agnostics share ideas of spirituality as not being religious; but, rather they used such terms as “ethical spirituality”, “self – transcendence” and “transcendence”. I offer these ideas for your consideration.

One Big TentOne of the people at the conference was Jon W, the senior editor of the AA Grapevine. Jon was part of a panel organized by Roger C on The History of Secular AA. The Grapevine has put together a book in which “Atheist and agnostic AA members share their experience, strength and hope”. The book contains 43 stories by nonbelievers in AA previously published by the Grapevine, the first in May 1968 and the most recent in October 2016.

Although it was not yet officially published, 250 copies were made available at the conference. The title of the book, One Big Tent, perfectly reflects the theme of the conference, diversity and inclusiveness, and is an important part of the contemporary history of the secular movement within Alcoholics Anonymous!

I need as well to report that there were three excellent keynote speakers at the conference. The first one to speak was Dr. Vera Tarman. Her topic was “More was my Higher Power”. In the panel on spirituality she also talked about the biology of spirituality, which was fascinating, to say the very least.

The second speaker was Deirdre S from New York who gave a talk entitled “The Cross-Addicted Mind: How Obsessive Use of Substances and Behaviors Fuels Alcoholism”. She also spoke at the Austin convention and you can read her talk here, A History of Special Interest Groups in AA.

And finally, the talk “AA: do we need God to make it work? A medical-scientific analysis” was presented by Dr. Ray Baker, who also did the workshop on Recovery Capital. He is writing a book about addiction, the working title is Recovery Medicine, and I really look forward to it being published!

As mentioned previously there were many ideas and questions raised throughout the conference. Questions that I need to think about and you may also want to consider are:

  1. Do we need to use the Secular 12 Steps in our meetings?
  2. Do we ever need the 12 steps at all in Secular AA?
  3. How do we make our meetings open to youth?
  4. Are there specific readings that we can use in Secular AA that are not part of traditional AA? If so what would they be?
  5. How closely affiliated do we want Secular AA to be with Traditional AA?

These are some of the highlights, ideas and questions that were discussed at the conference. I present them here for your consideration.

And while there was a stimulating and exciting diversity of opinion at the conference, there was also agreement on key issues. At the membership business meeting on Sunday morning two statements were adopted unanimously by those at the conference.

The first is our mission statement, the mission of secular AA:

Our mission is to assure suffering alcoholics that they can find sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous without having to accept anyone else’s beliefs or deny their own. Secular AA does not endorse or oppose any form of religion or belief system and operates in accordance with the Third Tradition of the Alcoholics Anonymous Program: “The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking”.

The second is our vision statement:

Secular AA recognizes and honors the immeasurable contributions that Alcoholics Anonymous has made to assist individuals to recover from alcoholism. We seek to ensure that AA remains an effective, relevant and inclusive program of recovery in an increasingly secular society. The foundation of Secular AA is grounded in the belief that anyone – regardless of their spiritual beliefs or lack thereof – can recover in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. Secular AA exists to serve the community of secularly-minded alcoholics by supporting worldwide access to secularly formatted AA meetings and fostering mutual support within a growing population of secularly-minded alcoholics.

The conference was an opportunity to think about the larger issues facing Secular AA and my place in it. It was a very exciting conference for me. While the conference was intellectually stimulating, in no way does it take away the importance from what we do in our groups each week. For me, our group provides safety, fellowship, an opportunity to learn from others and to share my issues on my path to recovery. While the conference was stimulating, I am so grateful I have my group!

Carolyn B is a retired educator. She was initially involved in traditional AA but always found the “god” part not true to her beliefs. On moving to Hamilton, Ontario she discovered the We Agnostics Group. She has been an active and grateful member ever since.

During his workshop at the conference, Dr. Ray Baker shared this slide that lists the ways in which recovery can be achieved and supported within Alcoholics Anonymous:

Therapeutic Components of AA

For a PDF of this article, click here: The 2018 International Conference of Secular AA.

 

The post The 2018 International Conference of Secular AA first appeared on AA Agnostica.

The Secular AA 2016 Austin Convention

Fifty Chosen Articles:
Number Twenty-Nine.
The second of the three international secular AA conferences.
Originally posted in November 2016.

“Our secular movement has… given me a new life, a new group of people with whom I can relate with honesty. That new life was reinforced dramatically at the convention in Austin.”

by life-j

I missed out on the Santa Monica Convention, and I almost didn’t make this one either, but the tooth fairy came through at the last moment.

And now I’m really stoked.

I had met a few of the people at a regional conference in Olympia, Washington, back at the beginning of the new year so I didn’t feel entirely lost when I got to Austin. Even many years sober, occasions like this can be scary. Was I going to “fake it till you make it” and power through, or was I going to be a wall flower?

I started out with the former, as I was walking off to the Ethiopian restaurant down the freeway from the Crowne Plaza with a group of people I had just met, but I did manage to settle down after a fellow alcoholic asked me about it. Maybe it was too conspicuous. But after all, I was with my own kind here. In the end I came away with many good conversations with so many people that I’m having a hard time remembering who’s who. You have to forgive me, I have brain damage.

But I will remember their faces two years from now in Toronto. I’ve never felt at home in a big crowd of people like I did here. And big it was, over 400 people registered for the convention, including people from several other countries, even as far away as Australia.

I’m not a suit and tie kind of guy, and I have felt out of place in hotels like this in the past, but even the hotel staff was pleasant and helpful and not judgmental. Maybe they had been warned by all the good people that put this together, that this might be an unusual bunch. Or am I just getting to be and act and feel normal, and haven’t figured it out myself yet? Wouldn’t be the first time I’m the last to see when I’ve changed.

I owe all of it to this program. God or no god, AA is where I learned how to live.

But on to the convention.

I’m amazed at how well it all came off. Thank you out-going board! There were many AA meetings, and I didn’t manage to go to a single one – there were just too many interesting topic panels and workshops to go to, often more than one at a time: ranging all the way from hardcore atheist rants to the spiritual, talks on AA history, on the future of AA, on all the odd aspects of AA mythology, and inconsistencies in our literature, on legal matters, including the Ontario Human Rights Tribunal suit, and on our relations to medical and psychiatric problems, GLBTQ and other subgroups.

We had a banquet Friday night, and I sat down at a table with people I didn’t know without feeling self conscious for even a minute. It probably didn’t directly do much for my sobriety, but let me tell you, I have been to too many AA get-togethers with gross spaghetti dinners. This was absolutely fabulous. With the banquet we also had 3 speakers, and they were all good. It was especially good to hear the talk delivered by Deirdre S, from New York City.

Ami from the Grapevine was there, giving us feedback about how we can help the Grapevine help us. We are after all only one of the subgroups they have to look after, but with the October issue, “Atheist and Agnostic Members”, it really feels like they do try to help us. We’re finally seeing real signs of the service structure supporting us as real members of AA.

One topic I heard brought up several times was why we’re not simply making our own program entirely. But we’re all aware that AA got us sober, AA is where we belong, and it’s where we have an obligation to the newcomer unbeliever so they will not have to feel as alone as we often did before we found each other. AA is just too big an entity to abandon to the fundies.

I got to go to a local regular Austin AA meeting with a couple of other attendees, and of course there I heard several people say the same thing I’ve heard so many times: I’m really having trouble finding my higher power.

We’re still needed out there to help them know that they do not need to!

As a convention we also looked forward to the next one in 2018. It was decided to hold it in Toronto, at the downtown Marriott hotel from August 24 to 26, and we also voted in a new board. There were a few tense moments, but I think we eventually wound up with a group of very talented and dedicated people. I was especially pleased to see at least one young person on the new board.

We also chose a new name for the next convention. WAAFT IAAC would still have served us, especially if we had just added a couple of more letters to the acronym, but eventually we arrived at the name, International Convention of Secular AA (ICSAA) instead. I like it. One thing which carried it was the thought that since a secular alternative to AA is being called for from several corners, we might as well begin calling ourselves secular.

Specific panels? It’s kind of a blur, still. I got something good out of every one I went to. One that stands out to me was the Mental Health Issues and Recovery, where we had a couple of psychiatrists, both in the program, talk with us. Though Bill Wilson himself knew mental problems all too well to claim that AA could fix it, we have heard way too much about that from many recent members. It was good to have these two doctors here to talk with. I have a friend with severe mental issues who is very dear to my heart, and we need much more involvement with the professionals among us, rather than more step work, so we can help them instead of making them more desperate for supposedly not working that program right which, which we are so often falsely told, fixes absolutely everything if only it is done right.

Sunday night I went to dinner with a couple of other people. One of them I knew pretty well, one I had never really met before, and then there was Roger. I know you’re a humble person, and would be inclined to strike this from the article, since I’m publishing this on your site. But you can’t do that. As I’m sitting here in the airport on my way home writing this, this is so big, I’m sitting here and I’m beginning to cry. It’s not something I do often. But I’m aware that none of all this would probably have happened if it wasn’t for you. Granted, our secular movement has gotten me into a lot of trouble with local AA, but it has also given me a new life, a new group of people with whom I can relate with honesty.

And that new life was reinforced dramatically at the convention in Austin.

All too much to handle with a straight face. Tears are actually rolling now, I better stop here. Probably everyone sitting here around me thinks I’m flying away from bad romance behind me or something. On the contrary, I have a wonderful woman waiting for me at home, another gift of the program, since I don’t have to be an asshole anymore. Life is good. Thank you. Thank you everyone.

I look forward to seeing you in Toronto in 2018.

Human Power

life-j got sober in Oakland in 1988. He moved to a Northern California coastal mountain village in 2002 and helped wake up the sleepy AA fellowship there. He was involved in service work of every kind all along, but eventually decided the most important work was to help atheists and agnostics feel safe and welcome in AA.

He spent parts of his life as a building contractor, part as a technical translator, and dabbled a bit in art work and writing. Semi-retired life-j was on a five acre homestead together with his sweetie, and his dogs, chickens, and gardens.

life-j passed away on December 14, 2019… peacefully and at home, as he had wished.

As part of his mission, life-j wrote a total of eighteen articles posted on AA Agnostica over eight years and these are:

For a PDF of this article, click here: The Secular AA 2016 Austin Convention.

 

The post The Secular AA 2016 Austin Convention first appeared on AA Agnostica.

The Secular AA 2016 Austin Convention

Fifty Chosen Articles:
Number Twenty-Nine.
The second of the three international secular AA conferences.
Originally posted in November 2016.

“Our secular movement has… given me a new life, a new group of people with whom I can relate with honesty. That new life was reinforced dramatically at the convention in Austin.”

by life-j

I missed out on the Santa Monica Convention, and I almost didn’t make this one either, but the tooth fairy came through at the last moment.

And now I’m really stoked.

I had met a few of the people at a regional conference in Olympia, Washington, back at the beginning of the new year so I didn’t feel entirely lost when I got to Austin. Even many years sober, occasions like this can be scary. Was I going to “fake it till you make it” and power through, or was I going to be a wall flower?

I started out with the former, as I was walking off to the Ethiopian restaurant down the freeway from the Crowne Plaza with a group of people I had just met, but I did manage to settle down after a fellow alcoholic asked me about it. Maybe it was too conspicuous. But after all, I was with my own kind here. In the end I came away with many good conversations with so many people that I’m having a hard time remembering who’s who. You have to forgive me, I have brain damage.

But I will remember their faces two years from now in Toronto. I’ve never felt at home in a big crowd of people like I did here. And big it was, over 400 people registered for the convention, including people from several other countries, even as far away as Australia.

I’m not a suit and tie kind of guy, and I have felt out of place in hotels like this in the past, but even the hotel staff was pleasant and helpful and not judgmental. Maybe they had been warned by all the good people that put this together, that this might be an unusual bunch. Or am I just getting to be and act and feel normal, and haven’t figured it out myself yet? Wouldn’t be the first time I’m the last to see when I’ve changed.

I owe all of it to this program. God or no god, AA is where I learned how to live.

But on to the convention.

I’m amazed at how well it all came off. Thank you out-going board! There were many AA meetings, and I didn’t manage to go to a single one – there were just too many interesting topic panels and workshops to go to, often more than one at a time: ranging all the way from hardcore atheist rants to the spiritual, talks on AA history, on the future of AA, on all the odd aspects of AA mythology, and inconsistencies in our literature, on legal matters, including the Ontario Human Rights Tribunal suit, and on our relations to medical and psychiatric problems, GLBTQ and other subgroups.

We had a banquet Friday night, and I sat down at a table with people I didn’t know without feeling self conscious for even a minute. It probably didn’t directly do much for my sobriety, but let me tell you, I have been to too many AA get-togethers with gross spaghetti dinners. This was absolutely fabulous. With the banquet we also had 3 speakers, and they were all good. It was especially good to hear the talk delivered by Deirdre S, from New York City.

Ami from the Grapevine was there, giving us feedback about how we can help the Grapevine help us. We are after all only one of the subgroups they have to look after, but with the October issue, “Atheist and Agnostic Members”, it really feels like they do try to help us. We’re finally seeing real signs of the service structure supporting us as real members of AA.

One topic I heard brought up several times was why we’re not simply making our own program entirely. But we’re all aware that AA got us sober, AA is where we belong, and it’s where we have an obligation to the newcomer unbeliever so they will not have to feel as alone as we often did before we found each other. AA is just too big an entity to abandon to the fundies.

I got to go to a local regular Austin AA meeting with a couple of other attendees, and of course there I heard several people say the same thing I’ve heard so many times: I’m really having trouble finding my higher power.

We’re still needed out there to help them know that they do not need to!

As a convention we also looked forward to the next one in 2018. It was decided to hold it in Toronto, at the downtown Marriott hotel from August 24 to 26, and we also voted in a new board. There were a few tense moments, but I think we eventually wound up with a group of very talented and dedicated people. I was especially pleased to see at least one young person on the new board.

We also chose a new name for the next convention. WAAFT IAAC would still have served us, especially if we had just added a couple of more letters to the acronym, but eventually we arrived at the name, International Convention of Secular AA (ICSAA) instead. I like it. One thing which carried it was the thought that since a secular alternative to AA is being called for from several corners, we might as well begin calling ourselves secular.

Specific panels? It’s kind of a blur, still. I got something good out of every one I went to. One that stands out to me was the Mental Health Issues and Recovery, where we had a couple of psychiatrists, both in the program, talk with us. Though Bill Wilson himself knew mental problems all too well to claim that AA could fix it, we have heard way too much about that from many recent members. It was good to have these two doctors here to talk with. I have a friend with severe mental issues who is very dear to my heart, and we need much more involvement with the professionals among us, rather than more step work, so we can help them instead of making them more desperate for supposedly not working that program right which, which we are so often falsely told, fixes absolutely everything if only it is done right.

Sunday night I went to dinner with a couple of other people. One of them I knew pretty well, one I had never really met before, and then there was Roger. I know you’re a humble person, and would be inclined to strike this from the article, since I’m publishing this on your site. But you can’t do that. As I’m sitting here in the airport on my way home writing this, this is so big, I’m sitting here and I’m beginning to cry. It’s not something I do often. But I’m aware that none of all this would probably have happened if it wasn’t for you. Granted, our secular movement has gotten me into a lot of trouble with local AA, but it has also given me a new life, a new group of people with whom I can relate with honesty.

And that new life was reinforced dramatically at the convention in Austin.

All too much to handle with a straight face. Tears are actually rolling now, I better stop here. Probably everyone sitting here around me thinks I’m flying away from bad romance behind me or something. On the contrary, I have a wonderful woman waiting for me at home, another gift of the program, since I don’t have to be an asshole anymore. Life is good. Thank you. Thank you everyone.

I look forward to seeing you in Toronto in 2018.

Human Power

life-j got sober in Oakland in 1988. He moved to a Northern California coastal mountain village in 2002 and helped wake up the sleepy AA fellowship there. He was involved in service work of every kind all along, but eventually decided the most important work was to help atheists and agnostics feel safe and welcome in AA.

He spent parts of his life as a building contractor, part as a technical translator, and dabbled a bit in art work and writing. Semi-retired life-j was on a five acre homestead together with his sweetie, and his dogs, chickens, and gardens.

life-j passed away on December 14, 2019… peacefully and at home, as he had wished.

As part of his mission, life-j wrote a total of eighteen articles posted on AA Agnostica over eight years and these are:

For a PDF of this article, click here: The Secular AA 2016 Austin Convention.

 

The post The Secular AA 2016 Austin Convention first appeared on AA Agnostica.

The Impossible Becomes Possible

Fifty Chosen Articles:
Number Twenty-Eight.
The first of the three international secular AA conferences.
Originally posted in December 2014.

Consistent with its theme of Many Paths to Recovery
 the conference was stunningly rich and diverse with fifteen panels, twenty-three workshops and ten speakers.

By Roger C.

It was a something of a miracle, if I may be so bold as to use that word.

Almost three hundred women and men gathered in Santa Monica, California, in early November 2014 for the first-ever convention for atheists, agnostics and freethinkers in AA.

It was, at the very least, an historical event for a fellowship that often understands recovery from alcoholism as rooted in a Higher Power most commonly understood as God.

Busy, busy days

The convention lasted three very busy days. Consistent with its theme of Many Paths to Recovery, it was stunningly rich and diverse with fifteen panels, twenty-three workshops, ten speakers and roughly forty back-to-back AA meetings.

The panels generally had from three to eight people on the stage. The first topic was whether or not spirituality was compatible with agnosticism. Arguing against the use of the concept was yours truly, administrator of the AA Agnostica website. In favour of the use of the word were Marya Hornbacher, author of Waiting: A Nonbelievers Higher Power, and Reverend Ward Ewing, former Class-A Trustee and Chairman of the General Service Board of AA.

The largest panel dealt with the topic of the de-listing of agnostic meetings by Intergroups. At the time of the convention, there were 200 meetings worldwide for AA members who do not attribute their sobriety to an interventionist deity. Thirty-one of these could not get listed or had been removed from meeting lists by the local Intergroup.

The conclusion of the panel was that in today’s world not listing agnostic groups in AA actually played into the law of unintended consequences. Among other results, the groups had their own websites to list their meetings, all easily found via search engines on the Internet. Moreover, the de-listing controversies invariably brought other agnostics and atheists out of the closet, to use a tried and true expression, and there was now an explosion of new agnostic AA meetings, with almost a quarter of the two hundred meetings worldwide having been started in the eight months prior to the convention.

Workshops galore

All of the panels and workshops were held on the Friday and Saturday of the convention. Nine workshops were held on Friday with topics such as: “Women in We Agnostics and Free Thinkers (WAFT)”, “Are We Loving and Tolerant?” and “Starting an Agnostic/Atheist Meeting”. On Saturday, there were fourteen workshops! Some of the topics were: “Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Our Recovery”, “What We Can Learn from Other Recovery Groups”, “How Can an Atheist Pray?” and “How to Get Along with Traditional AA”.

It is perhaps worth noting that three of the workshops focused on Buddhism or mindfulness. One was called “Mindfulness in Recovery”; another was labelled “Buddhist Precepts or Vows as They Relate to Recovery”; and the third was called “Mindfulness: Changing Our Neural Pathways for Sobriety”. Indeed, mindfulness – practiced via Buddhism or some version of the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program of John Kabat-Zinn – might well be a more contemporary and science-based version of achieving “a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism” and thus moving towards the fulfillment of the 12 Promises as described by Bill Wilson in the Big Book.

A marathon of meetings

While all of these panels and workshops were taking place, back-to-back agnostic meetings were also being held in other rooms of the convention location, the Unitarian Universalist Church. It was an opportunity to learn how AA meetings for atheists are conducted by groups in places like California, Idaho, Illinois, New York, Vancouver, Toronto, Paris, London and Melbourne.

For those new to meetings without “How It Works” and the Lord’s Prayer, it was quite liberating. As one person described it:

For some, like me, it was the first ever experience of an AA meeting not bathed in god and bookended with prayers. The excitement of reading the 12-steps formatted for an agnostic, allowing an atheist to read a version of them without being dishonest or hypocritical: sometimes it felt like just too much of what I had wanted for so long.

Plain and simple, an agnostic or atheist should not be expected to echo the “God” found in several of the Steps. After all, by the very nature of our beliefs, we try not to lie to ourselves. And as the author of the Steps wrote: “A belief in them (the Steps) as they stand is not at all a requirement for membership among us. This liberty has made AA available to thousands who never would have tried at all, had we insisted on the Twelve Steps just as written.” Let’s be clear, though: few of the convention participants want to “change” the original Steps. Those of us who find the Steps helpful, and that is not everybody, simply use our own personal non-theistic interpretations and versions. After all, if God can be “as we understood Him”, then it is not a bit of a stretch to work the Steps as we understand them.

Speak up

There were ten speakers at the convention and they were all wonderful!

John C. described in a lively and engaging fashion the difficulties he encountered as a gay and atheist in traditional AA. He founded three agnostic meetings in Paris, France, and was described as a “beacon of hope” in AA. Ann H. from Santa Monica, California, walked us through how she was able to work the steps as a non-believer with “reasonable and rational thinking” as her higher power. Joan C., the founder of We Agnostics in Maui, Hawaii, felt like she didn’t fit in until she found acceptance and understanding in her own no-prayer home group. Tim M. shared that his attendance at We Agnostics in Los Feliz, California, allowed him to feel honesty and compassion, and enabled him to express without fear and reticence what he believed “brought me alive in my recovery.” Joe C., the founder of Beyond Belief in Toronto, Canada, who kicked off the convention on Thursday morning, said that his respect for both believers and non-believers alike had, over the years, deepened his engagement in the fellowship of AA. Deirdre S. recounted walking into an agnostic meeting in New York and hearing the message that saved her: “This isn’t about God. It’s about showing up and reaching out to others and being of service.” Finally, Michael B., from the London, UK Angel group, shared a message about relapse, sponsorship and the importance of freethinking in meetings which allows people to share honestly and without fear and thus is crucial to upholding the primary purpose of AA.

These were the seven “fellowship” speakers. And then there were three keynote speakers.

The impossible becomes possible

Marya Hornbacher closed off the first day of the Convention. She talked about the miracle of sobriety and summed it up this way: “I think we sober up by some measure of chance, some measure of hope, some measure of sheer desperation and some measure of faith in the possibility of a new kind of life.” She concluded with a tribute to the Convention and its participants: “I am lucky to have found AA in you”.

On the second day, an inspiring talk was given by the General Manager of the General Service Office (GSO), Phyllis H. Her address emphasized the two central tenets of AA:

  1. That the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, and
  2. AA must be as inclusive as possible.

Phyllis remarked that “AA has always been evolving; it is always in a state of becoming” and certainly the convention in Santa Monica was evidence of that reality.

The final speaker, the fellow who ended the Convention, was the Reverend Ward Ewing. By the time he stood up to give his talk the hall was packed. It was a Saturday and standing room only at that point.

Reverend Ewing stands with us in our efforts to gain full acceptance and equal footing within AA. In his remarks, he shared our vision that agnostic, atheist, freethinker and secular meetings should and will inevitably take their place as an integral part of mainstream AA.

As he eloquently reminded us, AA is a place where the impossible becomes possible.

And that was something we could fully appreciate as participants at the first-ever convention for atheists, agnostics and freethinkers in AA in early November, 2014, in Santa Monica, California.

The featured image for this article is a photo by Alyssa S. of the piers along the waterfront in Santa Monica. It was taken while she was enjoying a moment of reflection while at the convention. Thank you, Alyssa.

This was the eleventh article published by AA Agnostica on the convention. The other ten are, in order:

For a PDF of the article, click here: The Impossible Becomes Possible.

The post The Impossible Becomes Possible first appeared on AA Agnostica.

The Impossible Becomes Possible

Fifty Chosen Articles:
Number Twenty-Eight.
The first of the three international secular AA conferences.
Originally posted in December 2014.

Consistent with its theme of Many Paths to Recovery
 the conference was stunningly rich and diverse with fifteen panels, twenty-three workshops and ten speakers.

By Roger C.

It was a something of a miracle, if I may be so bold as to use that word.

Almost three hundred women and men gathered in Santa Monica, California, in early November 2014 for the first-ever convention for atheists, agnostics and freethinkers in AA.

It was, at the very least, an historical event for a fellowship that often understands recovery from alcoholism as rooted in a Higher Power most commonly understood as God.

Busy, busy days

The convention lasted three very busy days. Consistent with its theme of Many Paths to Recovery, it was stunningly rich and diverse with fifteen panels, twenty-three workshops, ten speakers and roughly forty back-to-back AA meetings.

The panels generally had from three to eight people on the stage. The first topic was whether or not spirituality was compatible with agnosticism. Arguing against the use of the concept was yours truly, administrator of the AA Agnostica website. In favour of the use of the word were Marya Hornbacher, author of Waiting: A Nonbelievers Higher Power, and Reverend Ward Ewing, former Class-A Trustee and Chairman of the General Service Board of AA.

The largest panel dealt with the topic of the de-listing of agnostic meetings by Intergroups. At the time of the convention, there were 200 meetings worldwide for AA members who do not attribute their sobriety to an interventionist deity. Thirty-one of these could not get listed or had been removed from meeting lists by the local Intergroup.

The conclusion of the panel was that in today’s world not listing agnostic groups in AA actually played into the law of unintended consequences. Among other results, the groups had their own websites to list their meetings, all easily found via search engines on the Internet. Moreover, the de-listing controversies invariably brought other agnostics and atheists out of the closet, to use a tried and true expression, and there was now an explosion of new agnostic AA meetings, with almost a quarter of the two hundred meetings worldwide having been started in the eight months prior to the convention.

Workshops galore

All of the panels and workshops were held on the Friday and Saturday of the convention. Nine workshops were held on Friday with topics such as: “Women in We Agnostics and Free Thinkers (WAFT)”, “Are We Loving and Tolerant?” and “Starting an Agnostic/Atheist Meeting”. On Saturday, there were fourteen workshops! Some of the topics were: “Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Our Recovery”, “What We Can Learn from Other Recovery Groups”, “How Can an Atheist Pray?” and “How to Get Along with Traditional AA”.

It is perhaps worth noting that three of the workshops focused on Buddhism or mindfulness. One was called “Mindfulness in Recovery”; another was labelled “Buddhist Precepts or Vows as They Relate to Recovery”; and the third was called “Mindfulness: Changing Our Neural Pathways for Sobriety”. Indeed, mindfulness – practiced via Buddhism or some version of the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program of John Kabat-Zinn – might well be a more contemporary and science-based version of achieving “a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism” and thus moving towards the fulfillment of the 12 Promises as described by Bill Wilson in the Big Book.

A marathon of meetings

While all of these panels and workshops were taking place, back-to-back agnostic meetings were also being held in other rooms of the convention location, the Unitarian Universalist Church. It was an opportunity to learn how AA meetings for atheists are conducted by groups in places like California, Idaho, Illinois, New York, Vancouver, Toronto, Paris, London and Melbourne.

For those new to meetings without “How It Works” and the Lord’s Prayer, it was quite liberating. As one person described it:

For some, like me, it was the first ever experience of an AA meeting not bathed in god and bookended with prayers. The excitement of reading the 12-steps formatted for an agnostic, allowing an atheist to read a version of them without being dishonest or hypocritical: sometimes it felt like just too much of what I had wanted for so long.

Plain and simple, an agnostic or atheist should not be expected to echo the “God” found in several of the Steps. After all, by the very nature of our beliefs, we try not to lie to ourselves. And as the author of the Steps wrote: “A belief in them (the Steps) as they stand is not at all a requirement for membership among us. This liberty has made AA available to thousands who never would have tried at all, had we insisted on the Twelve Steps just as written.” Let’s be clear, though: few of the convention participants want to “change” the original Steps. Those of us who find the Steps helpful, and that is not everybody, simply use our own personal non-theistic interpretations and versions. After all, if God can be “as we understood Him”, then it is not a bit of a stretch to work the Steps as we understand them.

Speak up

There were ten speakers at the convention and they were all wonderful!

John C. described in a lively and engaging fashion the difficulties he encountered as a gay and atheist in traditional AA. He founded three agnostic meetings in Paris, France, and was described as a “beacon of hope” in AA. Ann H. from Santa Monica, California, walked us through how she was able to work the steps as a non-believer with “reasonable and rational thinking” as her higher power. Joan C., the founder of We Agnostics in Maui, Hawaii, felt like she didn’t fit in until she found acceptance and understanding in her own no-prayer home group. Tim M. shared that his attendance at We Agnostics in Los Feliz, California, allowed him to feel honesty and compassion, and enabled him to express without fear and reticence what he believed “brought me alive in my recovery.” Joe C., the founder of Beyond Belief in Toronto, Canada, who kicked off the convention on Thursday morning, said that his respect for both believers and non-believers alike had, over the years, deepened his engagement in the fellowship of AA. Deirdre S. recounted walking into an agnostic meeting in New York and hearing the message that saved her: “This isn’t about God. It’s about showing up and reaching out to others and being of service.” Finally, Michael B., from the London, UK Angel group, shared a message about relapse, sponsorship and the importance of freethinking in meetings which allows people to share honestly and without fear and thus is crucial to upholding the primary purpose of AA.

These were the seven “fellowship” speakers. And then there were three keynote speakers.

The impossible becomes possible

Marya Hornbacher closed off the first day of the Convention. She talked about the miracle of sobriety and summed it up this way: “I think we sober up by some measure of chance, some measure of hope, some measure of sheer desperation and some measure of faith in the possibility of a new kind of life.” She concluded with a tribute to the Convention and its participants: “I am lucky to have found AA in you”.

On the second day, an inspiring talk was given by the General Manager of the General Service Office (GSO), Phyllis H. Her address emphasized the two central tenets of AA:

  1. That the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, and
  2. AA must be as inclusive as possible.

Phyllis remarked that “AA has always been evolving; it is always in a state of becoming” and certainly the convention in Santa Monica was evidence of that reality.

The final speaker, the fellow who ended the Convention, was the Reverend Ward Ewing. By the time he stood up to give his talk the hall was packed. It was a Saturday and standing room only at that point.

Reverend Ewing stands with us in our efforts to gain full acceptance and equal footing within AA. In his remarks, he shared our vision that agnostic, atheist, freethinker and secular meetings should and will inevitably take their place as an integral part of mainstream AA.

As he eloquently reminded us, AA is a place where the impossible becomes possible.

And that was something we could fully appreciate as participants at the first-ever convention for atheists, agnostics and freethinkers in AA in early November, 2014, in Santa Monica, California.

The featured image for this article is a photo by Alyssa S. of the piers along the waterfront in Santa Monica. It was taken while she was enjoying a moment of reflection while at the convention. Thank you, Alyssa.

This was the eleventh article published by AA Agnostica on the convention. The other ten are, in order:

For a PDF of the article, click here: The Impossible Becomes Possible.

The post The Impossible Becomes Possible first appeared on AA Agnostica.

Modern 12 Step Recovery

Fifty Chosen Articles:
Number Twenty-Seven.
The last of seven consecutive book reviews.
Originally posted in April 2021.

A contemporary understanding of addiction and recovery.

A Review by John B.

Maybe you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but Glenn Rader has shown us you can give an old program a new look. Using a friendly and factual approach presented in an easy-to-read style, the 1938 AA antique program of recovery is analyzed from a 21st century perspective. Rader’s respect for Wilson and his program is easily detected from the outset, but like many of us in recovery, who credit our sobriety to AA participation, he takes the liberty to re-structure the 12 Steps in a manner completely devoid of any reference to God. His approach is to explain the effectiveness of the Steps in terms of widely accepted principles of psychological and physical health – a secular and humanistic approach that relies on science, not a deity.

The first two sections of the book “provide a practical perspective on addiction and the fundamentals of recovery.” (p. 4) Both topics are addressed clearly and concisely. Rader relies on the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) and the American Psychological Association (APA) for the definition of addiction. ASAM defines addiction as “a primary chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory, and related circuity.” (p. 6) The APA says “addiction is a chronic brain disorder with social, biological, psychological, and environmental factors influencing its development and maintenance.” (p. 6)

As a follow-up to these you’ll find mention of several dysfunctional manifestations that accompany chronic addiction and a clear description of “the path to addiction”. Rader depicts seven points along that path and even though I have now been sober well over 37 years he enabled me to visualize what I had been like at each of the points: genetics, emotional foundation, initial exposure, transitional dependency, delusional thinking and behavior, crossing the line, and living an alternative reality. These glimpses into the past gave me a sense of gratitude for the rewards sobriety has given me, and I would think this explanation of the disease concept would be useful to newcomers.

Rader specifies four fundamentals of recovery: self-direction, abstinence, physical health maintenance, and cognitive-behavioral transformation. Sticking with his clear and concise style, he gives the reader a thorough explanation of each fundamental and stresses that they are interrelated and that each one needs to be dealt with on a continual basis. This of course begs the question “just how am I supposed to do this?”

How Mr. Rader answers that question is far superior to the answers found in the chapters “How It Works” and “Into Action” in the basic text of AA. The wording of the modern 12 Steps and the single action word the author assigns to each of them conveys a much stronger message than the Big Book. That judgment is mine, not Rader’s.

It would be a mistake to look at the title of the book and to expect a harsh critique of AA. Rader sees the creation of AA as a major breakthrough, superior to the recovery programs that preceded it, but he politely curtails his praise by saying “it was a layman’s undertaking by smart, motivated, recovering alcoholics who were trying to help others with the same serious illness.” (p. 41) He does concede that the underlying principles in the 12 Steps “…are very contemporary from the standpoint of modern psychology.” (p. 41)

The modern psychology that Rader refers to is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). He carefully explains the connection between CBT and his modern AA Steps, and stresses that it is important for the alcoholic to understand that what AA does for you is firmly grounded in modern psychology.

AA gets credit for identifying the psychic change necessary to achieve successful recovery, for devising the steps toward making the change, and for creating the mutual support network for the alcoholic to tie into. Here again the author politely separates himself from the AA pioneers and backs up his belief system with this simple statement, “Today we have the benefit of more than eighty years of research into the psychology of thinking and behavior to draw from to get a better understanding of why the 12 Step program has been effective for people.” (p. 44) In other words, science gives us the answer we seek, not divine intervention. The author devotes a major portion of the book to explain the basics of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, the interrelationship between CBT and the Modern 12 Steps, and a detailed action plan for a sobriety seeker to follow.

This book is worthy of being added to your recovery library. Clarity and conciseness is the model. The material gives the reader the ability to see that the efficacy of the 12 Steps is solidly based on science not on a person’s ability to tap into a divine power source. The author presents a respectful and meaningful connection between “old fashioned” AA and his version of 21st century AA. This book would have been of great value to me 41 years ago when I struggled with the God question and floundered in ignorance about alcoholism. This book deserves to be used by addiction counsellors, handed to patients in treatment facilities like the Big Book was handed to me in 1980, and a place on the literature tables at meetings and at conventions.

You can watch a video version of a podcast with John Sheldon, the founder of Beyond Belief Sobriety, and Glenn Rader. Here it is: Modern 12 Step Recovery, by Glenn Rader.

John reports: “In this episode, I had a conversation with the author, Glenn Rader, who talked about why he thinks it’s important that AA and the Twelve Steps be framed within the context of modern psychology.”

Here’s a link to a website that includes printable and downloadable items from the book: Modern 12 Step Recovery.

The author of the review, John B, is an eighty-four year old sober alcoholic with 36 years of continuous sobriety. His alcoholism ultimately led to treatment, and eventually led to a career as an addiction counselor. John provided individual and group counseling to vets at the Marion, Indiana, V.A. hospital. He retired from the V.A. in 2001 and fondly describes it as the most challenging and satisfying job he ever had. John has also served as office manager for a major AA intergroup office in Ft. Wayne, Indiana for six and a half years. John reads 20 to 25 books a year, and three or four quality periodicals on a regular basis; mostly about politics, economics, science, history: about anything going on in the world that strikes his curiosity.

Glenn Rader is an accomplished business professional with a background in organization development and an MBA from the University of Michigan. He is in successful recovery from alcohol and drug addiction and is a public speaker, author, and a resource in the addiction recovery community. Glenn is also the author of the book STOP – Things You Must Know Before Trying to Help Someone with Addiction. The book is the product of his work with families and friends of addicts at a major addiction treatment centre.

For a PDF of the article, click here: Modern 12 Step Recovery.

The post Modern 12 Step Recovery first appeared on AA Agnostica.

Modern 12 Step Recovery

Fifty Chosen Articles:
Number Twenty-Seven.
The last of seven consecutive book reviews.
Originally posted in April 2021.

A contemporary understanding of addiction and recovery.

A Review by John B.

Maybe you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but Glenn Rader has shown us you can give an old program a new look. Using a friendly and factual approach presented in an easy-to-read style, the 1938 AA antique program of recovery is analyzed from a 21st century perspective. Rader’s respect for Wilson and his program is easily detected from the outset, but like many of us in recovery, who credit our sobriety to AA participation, he takes the liberty to re-structure the 12 Steps in a manner completely devoid of any reference to God. His approach is to explain the effectiveness of the Steps in terms of widely accepted principles of psychological and physical health – a secular and humanistic approach that relies on science, not a deity.

The first two sections of the book “provide a practical perspective on addiction and the fundamentals of recovery.” (p. 4) Both topics are addressed clearly and concisely. Rader relies on the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) and the American Psychological Association (APA) for the definition of addiction. ASAM defines addiction as “a primary chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory, and related circuity.” (p. 6) The APA says “addiction is a chronic brain disorder with social, biological, psychological, and environmental factors influencing its development and maintenance.” (p. 6)

As a follow-up to these you’ll find mention of several dysfunctional manifestations that accompany chronic addiction and a clear description of “the path to addiction”. Rader depicts seven points along that path and even though I have now been sober well over 37 years he enabled me to visualize what I had been like at each of the points: genetics, emotional foundation, initial exposure, transitional dependency, delusional thinking and behavior, crossing the line, and living an alternative reality. These glimpses into the past gave me a sense of gratitude for the rewards sobriety has given me, and I would think this explanation of the disease concept would be useful to newcomers.

Rader specifies four fundamentals of recovery: self-direction, abstinence, physical health maintenance, and cognitive-behavioral transformation. Sticking with his clear and concise style, he gives the reader a thorough explanation of each fundamental and stresses that they are interrelated and that each one needs to be dealt with on a continual basis. This of course begs the question “just how am I supposed to do this?”

How Mr. Rader answers that question is far superior to the answers found in the chapters “How It Works” and “Into Action” in the basic text of AA. The wording of the modern 12 Steps and the single action word the author assigns to each of them conveys a much stronger message than the Big Book. That judgment is mine, not Rader’s.

It would be a mistake to look at the title of the book and to expect a harsh critique of AA. Rader sees the creation of AA as a major breakthrough, superior to the recovery programs that preceded it, but he politely curtails his praise by saying “it was a layman’s undertaking by smart, motivated, recovering alcoholics who were trying to help others with the same serious illness.” (p. 41) He does concede that the underlying principles in the 12 Steps “…are very contemporary from the standpoint of modern psychology.” (p. 41)

The modern psychology that Rader refers to is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). He carefully explains the connection between CBT and his modern AA Steps, and stresses that it is important for the alcoholic to understand that what AA does for you is firmly grounded in modern psychology.

AA gets credit for identifying the psychic change necessary to achieve successful recovery, for devising the steps toward making the change, and for creating the mutual support network for the alcoholic to tie into. Here again the author politely separates himself from the AA pioneers and backs up his belief system with this simple statement, “Today we have the benefit of more than eighty years of research into the psychology of thinking and behavior to draw from to get a better understanding of why the 12 Step program has been effective for people.” (p. 44) In other words, science gives us the answer we seek, not divine intervention. The author devotes a major portion of the book to explain the basics of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, the interrelationship between CBT and the Modern 12 Steps, and a detailed action plan for a sobriety seeker to follow.

This book is worthy of being added to your recovery library. Clarity and conciseness is the model. The material gives the reader the ability to see that the efficacy of the 12 Steps is solidly based on science not on a person’s ability to tap into a divine power source. The author presents a respectful and meaningful connection between “old fashioned” AA and his version of 21st century AA. This book would have been of great value to me 41 years ago when I struggled with the God question and floundered in ignorance about alcoholism. This book deserves to be used by addiction counsellors, handed to patients in treatment facilities like the Big Book was handed to me in 1980, and a place on the literature tables at meetings and at conventions.

You can watch a video version of a podcast with John Sheldon, the founder of Beyond Belief Sobriety, and Glenn Rader. Here it is: Modern 12 Step Recovery, by Glenn Rader.

John reports: “In this episode, I had a conversation with the author, Glenn Rader, who talked about why he thinks it’s important that AA and the Twelve Steps be framed within the context of modern psychology.”

Here’s a link to a website that includes printable and downloadable items from the book: Modern 12 Step Recovery.

The author of the review, John B, is an eighty-four year old sober alcoholic with 36 years of continuous sobriety. His alcoholism ultimately led to treatment, and eventually led to a career as an addiction counselor. John provided individual and group counseling to vets at the Marion, Indiana, V.A. hospital. He retired from the V.A. in 2001 and fondly describes it as the most challenging and satisfying job he ever had. John has also served as office manager for a major AA intergroup office in Ft. Wayne, Indiana for six and a half years. John reads 20 to 25 books a year, and three or four quality periodicals on a regular basis; mostly about politics, economics, science, history: about anything going on in the world that strikes his curiosity.

Glenn Rader is an accomplished business professional with a background in organization development and an MBA from the University of Michigan. He is in successful recovery from alcohol and drug addiction and is a public speaker, author, and a resource in the addiction recovery community. Glenn is also the author of the book STOP – Things You Must Know Before Trying to Help Someone with Addiction. The book is the product of his work with families and friends of addicts at a major addiction treatment centre.

For a PDF of the article, click here: Modern 12 Step Recovery.

The post Modern 12 Step Recovery first appeared on AA Agnostica.