Category: From AA Agnostica

By Roger C

This is the 747th article posted on AA Agnostica and it is the last – the very last – article to be shared on this website.

While the website will remain online and accessible to all, there will not be any new articles.

That’s it, that’s all!

Launched in mid-June of 2011, what was the purpose of AA Agnostica? Well, there were two of them.

A comfort zone

As we learned back then, AA Agnostica was a comfort for those in recovery who couldn’t stand all of the God stuff at traditional AA meetings. You know, meetings that end with the Lord’s Prayer and then pretend there’s nothing religious about that.

Here is a recent comment (by Larry G.):

AA Agnostica has been the most important part of my recovery in the last five years. It’s been immensely satisfying to read open minded and well reasoned articles on non faith based recovery. Its been really helpful to disentangle the AA God belief from my recovery.

I totally understand. When I first got sober back in 2010, I had the same experience. I personally was treated with disrespect at traditional AA meetings for not believing in a God – you know, a supernatural, male, interventionist deity – and I was told that without a God I would be a drunk again.

To put it simply: BS, that stuff. And that’s how AA Agnostica turned out to be a comfort zone for non-God believers in recovery. As part of all of that, in 2015 it was a treat to publish a book, Do Tell! Stories by Atheists and Agnostics in AA, which contains fifteen stories by women and fifteen by men. Each one of these people found AA Agnostica to be a comfort zone. Just as do many of the thousand or more people who visit the site each and every day.

Comfort is obviously an important and very helpful part of recovery.

Inclusiveness

The other purpose of AA Agnostica has been to make AA more inclusive.

Hard to do, that. Traditional AA is rather dogmatic. Bill Wilson once talked about that, suggesting that AA was indeed moving in that direction. As he put it:

Whenever this brand of arrogance develops we are sure to become aggressive. We demand agreement with us. We play God. This isn’t good dogma. This is very bad dogma. It could be especially destructive for us of AA to indulge in this sort of thing.

AA can be indulgent. Only literature that is published – and sold – by AA is “conference-approved”. All other books and pamphlets about recovery are by and large banned or ignored by AA Intergroups, Central Offices and at the literature tables at traditional AA meetings. That is indeed a form of arrogance and bad dogma, as Bill put it.

The goal of this website has always been to make AA less dogmatic and more inclusive. Has that worked? Here are the posts and pages viewed on AA Agnostica on May 27th of this year:

Secular 12 Steps have always been a major interest of those visiting AA Agnostica. On that day in May, 213 people went to the Alternative 12 Steps, where there are six non-Godly versions of the Steps. Roughly 150,000 people have been there over the last eleven years.

And, as you can also see in the above image, people are also interested in Step Interpretations, Secular Group Websites and The Little Book, which contains 20 secular versions of the Steps and 4 interpretations of each.

So yes indeed AA Agnostica has made every effort to make Alcoholics Anonymous more inclusive. Here is a quote from Bill Wilson shared in a Grapevine article, Responsibility is Our Theme, in 1965:

Newcomers are approaching us at the rate of tens of thousands yearly. They represent almost every belief and attitude imaginable. We have atheists and agnostics. We have people of nearly every race, culture and religion. In AA we are supposed to be bound together in the kinship of a universal suffering. Therefore the full liberty to practice any creed or principle or therapy should be a first consideration. Hence let us not pressure anyone with individual or even collective views. Let us instead accord to each other the respect that is due to every human being as he tries to make his way towards the light. Let us always try to be inclusive rather than exclusive. Let us remember that each alcoholic among us is a member of AA, so long as he or she so declares.

So has AA Agnostica achieved – at least a little bit – its goal of making AA more inclusive?

We’ll let you decide.

And we will see what happens over the next years…

So this is it: the final article!

Our very best wishes to all you folks in recovery.

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For some of the history of the website, click here: Ten Years Old! And for a PDF of today’s article, click here: The Last Post on AA Agnostica.

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The post The Last Post on AA Agnostica – Eleven Years Old! first appeared on AA Agnostica.

By Roger C

This is the 747th article posted on AA Agnostica and it is the last – the very last – article to be shared on this website.

While the website will remain online and accessible to all, there will not be any new articles.

That’s it, that’s all!

Launched in mid-June of 2011, what was the purpose of AA Agnostica? Well, there were two of them.

A comfort zone

As we learned back then, AA Agnostica was a comfort for those in recovery who couldn’t stand all of the God stuff at traditional AA meetings. You know, meetings that end with the Lord’s Prayer and then pretend there’s nothing religious about that.

Here is a recent comment (by Larry G.):

AA Agnostica has been the most important part of my recovery in the last five years. It’s been immensely satisfying to read open minded and well reasoned articles on non faith based recovery. Its been really helpful to disentangle the AA God belief from my recovery.

I totally understand. When I first got sober back in 2010, I had the same experience. I personally was treated with disrespect at traditional AA meetings for not believing in a God – you know, a supernatural, male, interventionist deity – and I was told that without a God I would be a drunk again.

To put it simply: BS, that stuff. And that’s how AA Agnostica turned out to be a comfort zone for non-God believers in recovery. As part of all of that, in 2015 it was a treat to publish a book, Do Tell! Stories by Atheists and Agnostics in AA, which contains fifteen stories by women and fifteen by men. Each one of these people found AA Agnostica to be a comfort zone. Just as do many of the thousand or more people who visit the site each and every day.

Comfort is obviously an important and very helpful part of recovery.

Inclusiveness

The other purpose of AA Agnostica has been to make AA more inclusive.

Hard to do, that. Traditional AA is rather dogmatic. Bill Wilson once talked about that, suggesting that AA was indeed moving in that direction. As he put it:

Whenever this brand of arrogance develops we are sure to become aggressive. We demand agreement with us. We play God. This isn’t good dogma. This is very bad dogma. It could be especially destructive for us of AA to indulge in this sort of thing.

AA can be indulgent. Only literature that is published – and sold – by AA is “conference-approved”. All other books and pamphlets about recovery are by and large banned or ignored by AA Intergroups, Central Offices and at the literature tables at traditional AA meetings. That is indeed a form of arrogance and bad dogma, as Bill put it.

The goal of this website has always been to make AA less dogmatic and more inclusive. Has that worked? Here are the posts and pages viewed on AA Agnostica on May 27th of this year:

Secular 12 Steps have always been a major interest of those visiting AA Agnostica. On that day in May, 213 people went to the Alternative 12 Steps, where there are six non-Godly versions of the Steps. Roughly 150,000 people have been there over the last eleven years.

And, as you can also see in the above image, people are also interested in Step Interpretations, Secular Group Websites and The Little Book, which contains 20 secular versions of the Steps and 4 interpretations of each.

So yes indeed AA Agnostica has made every effort to make Alcoholics Anonymous more inclusive. Here is a quote from Bill Wilson shared in a Grapevine article, Responsibility is Our Theme, in 1965:

Newcomers are approaching us at the rate of tens of thousands yearly. They represent almost every belief and attitude imaginable. We have atheists and agnostics. We have people of nearly every race, culture and religion. In AA we are supposed to be bound together in the kinship of a universal suffering. Therefore the full liberty to practice any creed or principle or therapy should be a first consideration. Hence let us not pressure anyone with individual or even collective views. Let us instead accord to each other the respect that is due to every human being as he tries to make his way towards the light. Let us always try to be inclusive rather than exclusive. Let us remember that each alcoholic among us is a member of AA, so long as he or she so declares.

So has AA Agnostica achieved – at least a little bit – its goal of making AA more inclusive?

We’ll let you decide.

And we will see what happens over the next years…

So this is it: the final article!

Our very best wishes to all you folks in recovery.

---

For some of the history of the website, click here: Ten Years Old! And for a PDF of today’s article, click here: The Last Post on AA Agnostica.

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The post The Last Post on AA Agnostica – Eleven Years Old! first appeared on AA Agnostica.

Fifty Chosen Articles:
Number Fifty.
Originally posted in June 2021.

Some of the history of the website.

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The Growth of Secular AA

By Roger C.

Early History

AA Agnostica was launched a decade ago!

The website was created by me and another person on June 15, 2011. It was initially called AA Toronto Agnostics and it was created simply to let people know about the times and locations of two agnostic meetings, Beyond Belief and We Agnostics, after the groups had been booted out of the Greater Toronto Area Intergroup (GTAI).

At the time these were the only two secular AA groups in all of Canada. Beyond Belief was my homegroup. The groups were expelled from the GTAI for one simple reason: we used a secular version of the 12 Steps.

Traditional AA can be rather dogmatic, and in Toronto it certainly was way back then. In the conference-approved Big Book, published a million years ago, God is an essential part of recovery. With a “God” – or a “Him” (this deity is both Christian and male) – in six of the 12 steps, a secular version of these steps was not allowed by the GTAI. Thus, the expulsion of the two groups. After a legal challenge that lasted roughly six years, we were allowed back in in early 2017.

In the early months of the website, there was plenty of pressure to remove a secular version of the 12 Steps that I had added to the menu.

The Steps were never removed. The Alternative 12 Steps (there are six different versions on the website these days) is the most popular menu item for people visiting AA Agnostica: roughly 150,000 viewers over the past decade, and that’s forty or so each and every day.

Indeed, I was inspired by the interest in the secular 12 steps to write a book on the topic. Published in early 2013 it is called The Little Book – A Collection of Alternative 12 Steps (with a second edition and a French version, Le petit livre jaune, published earlier this year). The book contains 20 mostly secular versions of the 12 Steps, four interpretations of each one of them and an article, “The Origins of the 12 Steps”.

Okay, back to the first days of AA Agnostica. Early on I decided to invite people to post articles on the website. I don’t remember why I did that. There are very few sites that invite people to share their experience, strength and hope and at the time I didn’t know of a single such website. Certainly, none that invited recovering alcoholics and addicts to write articles. Nevertheless, in the first year, forty-six articles were published on AA Agnostica. These were written by twenty-two people from three countries: Great Britain, Canada and the United States.

The growth of the website was on its way.

Middle History

Over the next few years, we became rather busy. For instance, in the period between mid-June 2014 and mid-June 2015 a total of 94 articles were published, written by 50 different people. And all of this is compared to 62 articles the previous year and 46 in each of the first two years of AA Agnostica.

Moreover, two important things were launched in April 2013.

First, AA Agnostica decided to help nonbelievers start their own agnostic AA meetings.

On the Home Page we added a message that read, “Want an agnostic AA group in your town or city? Click here”. And literally thousands of people did just that.

They filled out a form with their location, email address, and an optional phone number and comment. Others nearby that did the same would be connected, filled in on what needed to be done (How to Start an AA Meeting), and often a new meeting would be launched.

This was all managed by Chris G who estimates that this project helped start approximately eighty meetings throughout North America. More about that here: My Brain Goes Fuzzy When They Talk About God.

The project was ended in June of 2016. It was simply felt the goal had been achieved.

Okay, more numbers. When AA Agnostica was first launched there was a grand total of 87 secular AA groups in the entire world. In 2012 there were 99. When the conference in Santa Monica was held in 2014 (more about this coming up) there was a total of 181 agnostic AA meetings. In the next year, growth spiked to 288 meetings. When the 2016 conference was held in Austin there were now 320 secular AA meetings worldwide. (These numbers were shared on a website launched in 2002, Agnostic AA New York City).

Okay, now on to an event launched in April 2013.

At the time it was known as the WAFT (We Agnostics and Free Thinkers) IAAC (International AA Convention). Two women, Dorothy H and Pam W, who had met at the We Agnostics meeting in Hollywood, were the main planners of the convention. They chose to hold this first ever secular AA event in Santa Monica, California in November 2014.

What a plan that was! And it was so very well executed. Dorothy travelled across the United States and into Canada to attend as many of the 150 secular AA meetings as possible and encourage people to attend this upcoming convention.

And AA Agnostica also did whatever it could to help. Our first topic about the convention was an interview with Pam, posted in mid-June 2013: An AA Convention for We Agnostics. Overall, five articles were posted prior to the convention, one on each day of the convention, and two after and about the convention.

It was an historical event, to say the least, held at a Unitarian Universalist Church which turned out to be so much better than a conference held in a hotel! Here is a quote about the conference: “The convention lasted three very busy days. Consistent with its theme of Many Paths to Recovery, it was stunningly rich and diverse with fifteen panels, twenty-three workshops (and) ten speakers.” That is from an article I wrote at the very end of 2014, The Impossible Becomes Possible.

Two other conventions – now called conferences – were held after that, one in Austin, Texas (2016) and one in Toronto, Ontario (2018). Of course, articles were published before and after both of those here on AA Agnostica. And the next in-person International Conference of Secular AA (ICSAA) is now expected to be held in Bethesda, Maryland at the end of October.

A final topic in this section of today’s article: Books!

Over the years, AA Agnostica has published a total of 10 books. Except for the second edition of The Little Book and its French version, Le petit livre jaune, all of them were published in the middle years of the website: between 2013 and 2017. One of my favorites has always been The Alternative 12 Steps – A Secular Guide to Recovery. Written by two women, and first published in 1991 – amazing! – we published its second edition in 2014.

Let me explain why these books were published. When I got sober in 2010, I couldn’t find any books that helped me with my recovery. None. Nada. And I couldn’t stand the Big Book. Too much God, too outdated and ancient…

So, we published these ten books. And two of them were by friends who had written a number of articles for AA Agnostica. One was by Thomas B, who wrote 21 articles, and his book is called Each Breath a Gift – A Story of Continuing Sobriety. The other was by bob k, the author of Key Players in AA History. bob has written a total of 54 articles shared on AA Agnostica and I am now helping him produce a second edition of Key Players (this one will be personally published by bob).

Overall, 93 books – each and every one of them about secular recovery – were reviewed on AA Agnostica! An average of 9.3 a year, I guess.

In fact, the fifth article posted on AA Agnostica on July 27, 2011 was a review of Marya Hornbacher’s book Waiting: A Nonbeliever’s Higher Power. The review was written by my friend John M (who now lives on Vancouver Island). A few years later I had the pleasure of being on a panel with Marya at the WAFT International AA Convention.

Another one of my all-time favorite books was written by Jeffrey Munn, Staying Sober Without God. The review was written by another friend, Heather C, and I was delighted to meet Jeffrey Munn at the Secular Ontario AA Roundup (SOAAR) held in Hamilton in 2019. His book contains “The Practical 12 Steps to Long-Term Recovery from Alcoholism and Addiction” and very helpful interpretations of each one of them.

Now, why am I telling you these book reviewers were friends and I met the authors? Simply because that has been the result of creating AA Agnostica: I have met many people and participated in many events. It’s all about connection.

And not just connection for me. The goal of AA Agnostica has always been to connect people with the reality of recovery without a God. And this happens – more and more these days – in Alcoholics Anonymous, despite the million-year-old Big Book. There is no need for an anthropomorphic, interventionist and male deity. The website connects people with people who’s recovery is all about their wonderful and non-godly experience, strength, and hope. That – from day one – has been AA Agnostica. I could go on and on with this topic but, well, I’ll stop here.

Alright, that’s our middle history. Secular AA groups worldwide. Three conferences, the first being in Santa Monica. And books! And now…

Today’s History

Over the past twelve months, ninety articles have been posted on AA Agnostica. Twenty of them were chapters of the book Do Tell, which had already been shared on the website when the book was published in 2015. Another twenty articles had been posted on other websites and were reposted here because they were well-written and useful, for example: Atheists and Agnostics: The Meaning of Life.

The fifty original articles were written by people from several different continents and countries: Canada, the USA, Latin America, Australia, Poland, England, Thailand and South Africa. Over the last decade, and counting today’s article, a total of 695 articles have been posted and the vast majority have been originals.

More numbers. There have been 3,500,000 views on AA Agnostica over the decade. These views are people who visit the website once, and never come back. And readers who regularly read our articles – a bunch of the viewers! Now, I know that total is not very many compared to, say, the Walmart website. But remember, these are recovery people, and mostly secular recovery people. That total over the years amounts to roughly 1,000 people every day – the first two years the number was not nearly that high – and these days roughly 200 different articles are viewed each and every day.

For the record, the most popular article is An Atheists Guide to 12-Step Recovery. Posted in 2012, to date it has had a total of 200,000 viewers.

And now, a question: Is AA growing up? Yes, it is. Slowly, but I hope and believe, surely. When the Big Book was written, 92% of Americans self-identified as Christians. That has dropped by almost a third; today 65% of Americans identify as Christians. As Bob Dylan put it: “The times they are a changin’”.

Thus, this website and the interest in it. But it is not the only such website these days. Joe C, the author of Beyond Belief, launched Rebellion Dogs Publishing in 2011. John Sheldon has been responsible for several websites. One of them is Secular AA, which first was created – with a different name, WAAFT Central – in 2014 after the Santa Monica convention. John also created AA Beyond Belief in 2015 which has now evolved into the Beyond Belief Sobriety Podcast.

Moreover, Alcoholics Anonymous is learning to accommodate we secular people. In 2014 our friend life-j wrote an article, A Grapevine Book for Agnostics and Atheists in AA. We asked AA Grapevine to publish a book of the 40 secular stories it had posted since 1947. In 2015, they said “no”. We pushed and pushed. In 2016, they said “yes”!

Finally, in 2018, the book was published: One Big Tent – Atheist and Agnostic AA Members Share Their Experience, Strength and Hope. It isn’t the best possible book, but it is certainly a move in the right direction.

As well, the GSO now has an online list of all AA meetings in North America, and it is called the Meeting Guide. And guess what? One of the categories is “secular”.

Does the GSO need to do more. Damn right! One of the things it must do is ditch “conference-approved” as its only category of literature. Go to a traditional AA meeting and the only things on its literature table are “conference-approved” books and pamphlets. Sad, given that so many good books about recovery have been written since that million-year-old Big Book, but true.

A final thought about the growth of secular AA meetings. As mentioned earlier, the total worldwide was at 320 in 2016. By 2020 the number had grown to roughly 500. So, what happened next? Well, the pandemic hit hard in March 2020. Had you ever heard of “zoom” meetings before then? It has had a huge impact on the secular AA movement. As bob k put it in an article on AA Beyond Belief, “The pandemic has taught us some things – one being that the thirst for secular AA exceeds our most optimistic imaginings” (Pandemics, Zoom & Happy Heathens).

It will be interesting to see the new numbers, post-pandemic…

Our Last Original Article
The Eleventh Year of AA Agnostica

After a decade of sharing every Sunday and sometimes on Wednesdays, today’s post is meant to essentially be the last original article posted on AA Agnostica.

Over the next year, the eleventh year, we are considering re-posting some of the most popular articles on the website. Perhaps the top 50 of our total of 695. Frankly, we haven’t decided how many yet.

But certainly, no more new articles every Sunday. None on Wednesdays. As we mentioned earlier, a couple of hundred different articles are viewed every single day. And for that very reason, we do indeed plan to keep the website up and alive for the next years.

AA Agnostica: A space for AA agnostics, atheists and freethinkers worldwide. It has been a great decade! I have enjoyed it very much and have learned a great deal. And the connections. Amazing. There is no doubt that the secular AA movement will continue to grow and expand over the next years. As it should. And as it must.

Onwards and upwards, folks.

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For a PDF of this article, click here: Ten Years Old!

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The founder of AA Agnostica has written and posted a total of 84 articles on the website:

• Ten Years Old! (June 13, 2021)
• Songs about Recovery (March 28, 2021)
• Songs about Addiction (March 21, 2021)
• The Little Book – Second Edition (January 13, 2021)

• Questions & Answers – AA Agnostica (August 16, 2020)
• Nine Years Old! (June 14, 2020)
• Reshaping the AA Culture (June 7, 2020)
• AA Meeting Guide (March 25, 2020)
• From 0 to 20 Secular AA Groups in Ontario (March 4, 2020)
• Secular AA Pamphlets (February 16, 2020)
• life-j (January 12, 2020)

• Celebrating Ten Years: Canada’s Oldest Secular AA Group (November 20, 2019)
• The Secular Ontario AA Roundup (August 14, 2019)
• The Purpose of AA Agnostica (June 23, 2019)
• AA Hospital and Institution Conferences (March 13, 2019)
• What is AA? (March 3, 2019)
• AA and the Lord’s Prayer (February 3, 2019)

• Do Tell! and One Big Tent – Two Books of Stories by AA Atheists (July 22, 2018)
• Survey Results – Literature for We Agnostics (April 1, 2018)
• Conclusion: Who We Are (January 11, 2018)

• Chapter 16: A Growing Secular Movement (December 14, 2017)
• How to Start a Secular AA Meeting – FAQ (November 30, 2017)
• Chapter 14: Progress Not Perfection (October 8, 2017)
• Chapter 13: Santa Monica Convention (October 5, 2017)
• Chapter 12: Literature for We Agnostics (September 7, 2017)
• Chapter 11: Conference-approved Literature (August 24, 2017)
• Chapter 10: Conformity and Conventional AA (July 20, 2017)
• Chapter 8: Accepting Special Composition Groups (June 25, 2017)
• Six Years Old! (June 15, 2017)
• Chapter 7: Agnostics and Human Rights (June 7, 2017)
• Chapter 6: Changing the 12 Steps (May 31, 2017)
• Chapter 5: More Rejection (May 25, 2017)
• Chapter 4: Early History (May 18, 2017)
• Chapter 3: The God Bit (May 11, 2017)
• Chapter 2: Rejection (May 4, 2017)
• Chapter 1: An Agnostic in AA (April 27, 2017)
• Introduction: Time to Rally (April 20, 2017)
• Toronto Intergroup Yields to Agnostics in AA (February 2, 2017)

• Atheists in AA – How It Works (August 10, 2016)
• The Last Post (June 15, 2016)
• The Second Secular AA Conference (April 17, 2016)
• Changing the 12 Steps of AA (February 23, 2016)
• AA Atheists and Human Rights (February 21, 2016)
• A History of Secularism in AA (January 26, 2016)

• A Special Project: The Practical Book (December 6, 2015)
• The Spirit of Rotation (September 30, 2015)
• Four Years Old! (June 14, 2015)
• Do Tell! Stories by Atheists & Agnostics in AA (May 24, 2015)
• A Tribute to Ernie Kurtz (May 3, 2015)
• No Grapevine Book for Atheists in AA (February 18, 2015)
• Key Players in AA History (February 8, 2015)

• The Impossible Becomes Possible (December 28, 2014)
• Still No Pamphlet for Agnostics in AA (August 17, 2014)
• The Alternative 12 Steps – Second Edition (Foreword) (July 30, 2014)
• Buddhism and the 12 Steps (July 16, 2014)
• Three Years Old! (June 15, 2014)
• Agnostic Groups: An Asset for the Future of AA (May 11, 2014)
• Don’t Tell – Introduction (May 7, 2014)
• A True Partnership (April 9, 2014)
• AA – Spiritual Not Religious (March 16, 2014)
• One alcoholic judging another (January 19, 2014)
• The Biology of Spirituality (January 5, 2014)

• AA Started in Riots (December 8, 2013)
• An AA Pamphlet for Agnostics – The 1980s (November 10, 2013)
• Booting the Bastards Out (October 13, 2013)
• An AA Pamphlet for Agnostics – The 1970s (August 25, 2013)
• Two Years Old! (June 23, 2013)
• An AA Convention for We Agnostics (June 16, 2013)
• The General Service Conference Stumbles (June 9, 2013)
• A Million Little Pieces (January 20, 2013)

• In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts (December 9, 2012)
• We Are Not Saints (December 2, 2012)
• The Lord’s Prayer and the Law (November 4, 2012)
• Responsibility is our Theme (October 7, 2012)
• The Origins of the 12 Steps (September 16, 2012)
• Mindfulness and the 12 Steps (September 2, 2012)
• One Year Old! (June 10, 2012)
• Another Agnostic Group Ousted (May 6, 2012)
• The Varieties of Recovery Experience (January 25, 2012)
• The “Don’t Tell” Policy of AA (January 5, 2012)

• Let the Wood Burn (December 13, 2011)
• Indy We Agnostics Relisted (November 29, 2011)
• The Spirituality of Imperfection (November 2, 2011)
• The Responsibility Declaration (July 3, 2011)

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Roger C has been an alcoholic in recovery since March 8, 2010. Later that summer he joined the Toronto group Beyond Belief, at the time the only secular AA meeting in all of Canada. In September, a second Toronto group, We Agnostics, was launched. The two were booted out of the Greater Toronto Area Intergroup on May 31, 2011. And that’s exactly what inspired Roger to launch a website in June of that year that became AA Agnostica.

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The post Ten Years Old! first appeared on AA Agnostica.

Fifty Chosen Articles:
Number Fifty.
Originally posted in June 2021.

Some of the history of the website.

---

The Growth of Secular AA

By Roger C.

Early History

AA Agnostica was launched a decade ago!

The website was created by me and another person on June 15, 2011. It was initially called AA Toronto Agnostics and it was created simply to let people know about the times and locations of two agnostic meetings, Beyond Belief and We Agnostics, after the groups had been booted out of the Greater Toronto Area Intergroup (GTAI).

At the time these were the only two secular AA groups in all of Canada. Beyond Belief was my homegroup. The groups were expelled from the GTAI for one simple reason: we used a secular version of the 12 Steps.

Traditional AA can be rather dogmatic, and in Toronto it certainly was way back then. In the conference-approved Big Book, published a million years ago, God is an essential part of recovery. With a “God” – or a “Him” (this deity is both Christian and male) – in six of the 12 steps, a secular version of these steps was not allowed by the GTAI. Thus, the expulsion of the two groups. After a legal challenge that lasted roughly six years, we were allowed back in in early 2017.

In the early months of the website, there was plenty of pressure to remove a secular version of the 12 Steps that I had added to the menu.

The Steps were never removed. The Alternative 12 Steps (there are six different versions on the website these days) is the most popular menu item for people visiting AA Agnostica: roughly 150,000 viewers over the past decade, and that’s forty or so each and every day.

Indeed, I was inspired by the interest in the secular 12 steps to write a book on the topic. Published in early 2013 it is called The Little Book – A Collection of Alternative 12 Steps (with a second edition and a French version, Le petit livre jaune, published earlier this year). The book contains 20 mostly secular versions of the 12 Steps, four interpretations of each one of them and an article, “The Origins of the 12 Steps”.

Okay, back to the first days of AA Agnostica. Early on I decided to invite people to post articles on the website. I don’t remember why I did that. There are very few sites that invite people to share their experience, strength and hope and at the time I didn’t know of a single such website. Certainly, none that invited recovering alcoholics and addicts to write articles. Nevertheless, in the first year, forty-six articles were published on AA Agnostica. These were written by twenty-two people from three countries: Great Britain, Canada and the United States.

The growth of the website was on its way.

Middle History

Over the next few years, we became rather busy. For instance, in the period between mid-June 2014 and mid-June 2015 a total of 94 articles were published, written by 50 different people. And all of this is compared to 62 articles the previous year and 46 in each of the first two years of AA Agnostica.

Moreover, two important things were launched in April 2013.

First, AA Agnostica decided to help nonbelievers start their own agnostic AA meetings.

On the Home Page we added a message that read, “Want an agnostic AA group in your town or city? Click here”. And literally thousands of people did just that.

They filled out a form with their location, email address, and an optional phone number and comment. Others nearby that did the same would be connected, filled in on what needed to be done (How to Start an AA Meeting), and often a new meeting would be launched.

This was all managed by Chris G who estimates that this project helped start approximately eighty meetings throughout North America. More about that here: My Brain Goes Fuzzy When They Talk About God.

The project was ended in June of 2016. It was simply felt the goal had been achieved.

Okay, more numbers. When AA Agnostica was first launched there was a grand total of 87 secular AA groups in the entire world. In 2012 there were 99. When the conference in Santa Monica was held in 2014 (more about this coming up) there was a total of 181 agnostic AA meetings. In the next year, growth spiked to 288 meetings. When the 2016 conference was held in Austin there were now 320 secular AA meetings worldwide. (These numbers were shared on a website launched in 2002, Agnostic AA New York City).

Okay, now on to an event launched in April 2013.

At the time it was known as the WAFT (We Agnostics and Free Thinkers) IAAC (International AA Convention). Two women, Dorothy H and Pam W, who had met at the We Agnostics meeting in Hollywood, were the main planners of the convention. They chose to hold this first ever secular AA event in Santa Monica, California in November 2014.

What a plan that was! And it was so very well executed. Dorothy travelled across the United States and into Canada to attend as many of the 150 secular AA meetings as possible and encourage people to attend this upcoming convention.

And AA Agnostica also did whatever it could to help. Our first topic about the convention was an interview with Pam, posted in mid-June 2013: An AA Convention for We Agnostics. Overall, five articles were posted prior to the convention, one on each day of the convention, and two after and about the convention.

It was an historical event, to say the least, held at a Unitarian Universalist Church which turned out to be so much better than a conference held in a hotel! Here is a quote about the conference: “The convention lasted three very busy days. Consistent with its theme of Many Paths to Recovery, it was stunningly rich and diverse with fifteen panels, twenty-three workshops (and) ten speakers.” That is from an article I wrote at the very end of 2014, The Impossible Becomes Possible.

Two other conventions – now called conferences – were held after that, one in Austin, Texas (2016) and one in Toronto, Ontario (2018). Of course, articles were published before and after both of those here on AA Agnostica. And the next in-person International Conference of Secular AA (ICSAA) is now expected to be held in Bethesda, Maryland at the end of October.

A final topic in this section of today’s article: Books!

Over the years, AA Agnostica has published a total of 10 books. Except for the second edition of The Little Book and its French version, Le petit livre jaune, all of them were published in the middle years of the website: between 2013 and 2017. One of my favorites has always been The Alternative 12 Steps – A Secular Guide to Recovery. Written by two women, and first published in 1991 – amazing! – we published its second edition in 2014.

Let me explain why these books were published. When I got sober in 2010, I couldn’t find any books that helped me with my recovery. None. Nada. And I couldn’t stand the Big Book. Too much God, too outdated and ancient…

So, we published these ten books. And two of them were by friends who had written a number of articles for AA Agnostica. One was by Thomas B, who wrote 21 articles, and his book is called Each Breath a Gift – A Story of Continuing Sobriety. The other was by bob k, the author of Key Players in AA History. bob has written a total of 54 articles shared on AA Agnostica and I am now helping him produce a second edition of Key Players (this one will be personally published by bob).

Overall, 93 books – each and every one of them about secular recovery – were reviewed on AA Agnostica! An average of 9.3 a year, I guess.

In fact, the fifth article posted on AA Agnostica on July 27, 2011 was a review of Marya Hornbacher’s book Waiting: A Nonbeliever’s Higher Power. The review was written by my friend John M (who now lives on Vancouver Island). A few years later I had the pleasure of being on a panel with Marya at the WAFT International AA Convention.

Another one of my all-time favorite books was written by Jeffrey Munn, Staying Sober Without God. The review was written by another friend, Heather C, and I was delighted to meet Jeffrey Munn at the Secular Ontario AA Roundup (SOAAR) held in Hamilton in 2019. His book contains “The Practical 12 Steps to Long-Term Recovery from Alcoholism and Addiction” and very helpful interpretations of each one of them.

Now, why am I telling you these book reviewers were friends and I met the authors? Simply because that has been the result of creating AA Agnostica: I have met many people and participated in many events. It’s all about connection.

And not just connection for me. The goal of AA Agnostica has always been to connect people with the reality of recovery without a God. And this happens – more and more these days – in Alcoholics Anonymous, despite the million-year-old Big Book. There is no need for an anthropomorphic, interventionist and male deity. The website connects people with people who’s recovery is all about their wonderful and non-godly experience, strength, and hope. That – from day one – has been AA Agnostica. I could go on and on with this topic but, well, I’ll stop here.

Alright, that’s our middle history. Secular AA groups worldwide. Three conferences, the first being in Santa Monica. And books! And now…

Today’s History

Over the past twelve months, ninety articles have been posted on AA Agnostica. Twenty of them were chapters of the book Do Tell, which had already been shared on the website when the book was published in 2015. Another twenty articles had been posted on other websites and were reposted here because they were well-written and useful, for example: Atheists and Agnostics: The Meaning of Life.

The fifty original articles were written by people from several different continents and countries: Canada, the USA, Latin America, Australia, Poland, England, Thailand and South Africa. Over the last decade, and counting today’s article, a total of 695 articles have been posted and the vast majority have been originals.

More numbers. There have been 3,500,000 views on AA Agnostica over the decade. These views are people who visit the website once, and never come back. And readers who regularly read our articles – a bunch of the viewers! Now, I know that total is not very many compared to, say, the Walmart website. But remember, these are recovery people, and mostly secular recovery people. That total over the years amounts to roughly 1,000 people every day – the first two years the number was not nearly that high – and these days roughly 200 different articles are viewed each and every day.

For the record, the most popular article is An Atheists Guide to 12-Step Recovery. Posted in 2012, to date it has had a total of 200,000 viewers.

And now, a question: Is AA growing up? Yes, it is. Slowly, but I hope and believe, surely. When the Big Book was written, 92% of Americans self-identified as Christians. That has dropped by almost a third; today 65% of Americans identify as Christians. As Bob Dylan put it: “The times they are a changin’”.

Thus, this website and the interest in it. But it is not the only such website these days. Joe C, the author of Beyond Belief, launched Rebellion Dogs Publishing in 2011. John Sheldon has been responsible for several websites. One of them is Secular AA, which first was created – with a different name, WAAFT Central – in 2014 after the Santa Monica convention. John also created AA Beyond Belief in 2015 which has now evolved into the Beyond Belief Sobriety Podcast.

Moreover, Alcoholics Anonymous is learning to accommodate we secular people. In 2014 our friend life-j wrote an article, A Grapevine Book for Agnostics and Atheists in AA. We asked AA Grapevine to publish a book of the 40 secular stories it had posted since 1947. In 2015, they said “no”. We pushed and pushed. In 2016, they said “yes”!

Finally, in 2018, the book was published: One Big Tent – Atheist and Agnostic AA Members Share Their Experience, Strength and Hope. It isn’t the best possible book, but it is certainly a move in the right direction.

As well, the GSO now has an online list of all AA meetings in North America, and it is called the Meeting Guide. And guess what? One of the categories is “secular”.

Does the GSO need to do more. Damn right! One of the things it must do is ditch “conference-approved” as its only category of literature. Go to a traditional AA meeting and the only things on its literature table are “conference-approved” books and pamphlets. Sad, given that so many good books about recovery have been written since that million-year-old Big Book, but true.

A final thought about the growth of secular AA meetings. As mentioned earlier, the total worldwide was at 320 in 2016. By 2020 the number had grown to roughly 500. So, what happened next? Well, the pandemic hit hard in March 2020. Had you ever heard of “zoom” meetings before then? It has had a huge impact on the secular AA movement. As bob k put it in an article on AA Beyond Belief, “The pandemic has taught us some things – one being that the thirst for secular AA exceeds our most optimistic imaginings” (Pandemics, Zoom & Happy Heathens).

It will be interesting to see the new numbers, post-pandemic…

Our Last Original Article
The Eleventh Year of AA Agnostica

After a decade of sharing every Sunday and sometimes on Wednesdays, today’s post is meant to essentially be the last original article posted on AA Agnostica.

Over the next year, the eleventh year, we are considering re-posting some of the most popular articles on the website. Perhaps the top 50 of our total of 695. Frankly, we haven’t decided how many yet.

But certainly, no more new articles every Sunday. None on Wednesdays. As we mentioned earlier, a couple of hundred different articles are viewed every single day. And for that very reason, we do indeed plan to keep the website up and alive for the next years.

AA Agnostica: A space for AA agnostics, atheists and freethinkers worldwide. It has been a great decade! I have enjoyed it very much and have learned a great deal. And the connections. Amazing. There is no doubt that the secular AA movement will continue to grow and expand over the next years. As it should. And as it must.

Onwards and upwards, folks.

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For a PDF of this article, click here: Ten Years Old!

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The founder of AA Agnostica has written and posted a total of 84 articles on the website:

• Ten Years Old! (June 13, 2021)
• Songs about Recovery (March 28, 2021)
• Songs about Addiction (March 21, 2021)
• The Little Book – Second Edition (January 13, 2021)

• Questions & Answers – AA Agnostica (August 16, 2020)
• Nine Years Old! (June 14, 2020)
• Reshaping the AA Culture (June 7, 2020)
• AA Meeting Guide (March 25, 2020)
• From 0 to 20 Secular AA Groups in Ontario (March 4, 2020)
• Secular AA Pamphlets (February 16, 2020)
• life-j (January 12, 2020)

• Celebrating Ten Years: Canada’s Oldest Secular AA Group (November 20, 2019)
• The Secular Ontario AA Roundup (August 14, 2019)
• The Purpose of AA Agnostica (June 23, 2019)
• AA Hospital and Institution Conferences (March 13, 2019)
• What is AA? (March 3, 2019)
• AA and the Lord’s Prayer (February 3, 2019)

• Do Tell! and One Big Tent – Two Books of Stories by AA Atheists (July 22, 2018)
• Survey Results – Literature for We Agnostics (April 1, 2018)
• Conclusion: Who We Are (January 11, 2018)

• Chapter 16: A Growing Secular Movement (December 14, 2017)
• How to Start a Secular AA Meeting – FAQ (November 30, 2017)
• Chapter 14: Progress Not Perfection (October 8, 2017)
• Chapter 13: Santa Monica Convention (October 5, 2017)
• Chapter 12: Literature for We Agnostics (September 7, 2017)
• Chapter 11: Conference-approved Literature (August 24, 2017)
• Chapter 10: Conformity and Conventional AA (July 20, 2017)
• Chapter 8: Accepting Special Composition Groups (June 25, 2017)
• Six Years Old! (June 15, 2017)
• Chapter 7: Agnostics and Human Rights (June 7, 2017)
• Chapter 6: Changing the 12 Steps (May 31, 2017)
• Chapter 5: More Rejection (May 25, 2017)
• Chapter 4: Early History (May 18, 2017)
• Chapter 3: The God Bit (May 11, 2017)
• Chapter 2: Rejection (May 4, 2017)
• Chapter 1: An Agnostic in AA (April 27, 2017)
• Introduction: Time to Rally (April 20, 2017)
• Toronto Intergroup Yields to Agnostics in AA (February 2, 2017)

• Atheists in AA – How It Works (August 10, 2016)
• The Last Post (June 15, 2016)
• The Second Secular AA Conference (April 17, 2016)
• Changing the 12 Steps of AA (February 23, 2016)
• AA Atheists and Human Rights (February 21, 2016)
• A History of Secularism in AA (January 26, 2016)

• A Special Project: The Practical Book (December 6, 2015)
• The Spirit of Rotation (September 30, 2015)
• Four Years Old! (June 14, 2015)
• Do Tell! Stories by Atheists & Agnostics in AA (May 24, 2015)
• A Tribute to Ernie Kurtz (May 3, 2015)
• No Grapevine Book for Atheists in AA (February 18, 2015)
• Key Players in AA History (February 8, 2015)

• The Impossible Becomes Possible (December 28, 2014)
• Still No Pamphlet for Agnostics in AA (August 17, 2014)
• The Alternative 12 Steps – Second Edition (Foreword) (July 30, 2014)
• Buddhism and the 12 Steps (July 16, 2014)
• Three Years Old! (June 15, 2014)
• Agnostic Groups: An Asset for the Future of AA (May 11, 2014)
• Don’t Tell – Introduction (May 7, 2014)
• A True Partnership (April 9, 2014)
• AA – Spiritual Not Religious (March 16, 2014)
• One alcoholic judging another (January 19, 2014)
• The Biology of Spirituality (January 5, 2014)

• AA Started in Riots (December 8, 2013)
• An AA Pamphlet for Agnostics – The 1980s (November 10, 2013)
• Booting the Bastards Out (October 13, 2013)
• An AA Pamphlet for Agnostics – The 1970s (August 25, 2013)
• Two Years Old! (June 23, 2013)
• An AA Convention for We Agnostics (June 16, 2013)
• The General Service Conference Stumbles (June 9, 2013)
• A Million Little Pieces (January 20, 2013)

• In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts (December 9, 2012)
• We Are Not Saints (December 2, 2012)
• The Lord’s Prayer and the Law (November 4, 2012)
• Responsibility is our Theme (October 7, 2012)
• The Origins of the 12 Steps (September 16, 2012)
• Mindfulness and the 12 Steps (September 2, 2012)
• One Year Old! (June 10, 2012)
• Another Agnostic Group Ousted (May 6, 2012)
• The Varieties of Recovery Experience (January 25, 2012)
• The “Don’t Tell” Policy of AA (January 5, 2012)

• Let the Wood Burn (December 13, 2011)
• Indy We Agnostics Relisted (November 29, 2011)
• The Spirituality of Imperfection (November 2, 2011)
• The Responsibility Declaration (July 3, 2011)

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Roger C has been an alcoholic in recovery since March 8, 2010. Later that summer he joined the Toronto group Beyond Belief, at the time the only secular AA meeting in all of Canada. In September, a second Toronto group, We Agnostics, was launched. The two were booted out of the Greater Toronto Area Intergroup on May 31, 2011. And that’s exactly what inspired Roger to launch a website in June of that year that became AA Agnostica.

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The post Ten Years Old! first appeared on AA Agnostica.

Fifty Chosen Articles:
Number Forty-Nine.
On the Menu of AA Agnostica.

Four authors interpret each of the 12 Steps. This is a major part of
The Little Book: A Collection of Alternative 12 Steps.

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Step 1
Allen Berger	This Step helps us shatter our reliance on a false self, which was fed through lack of self-awareness, poor self-worth, and lack of language, plus denial, and a physical, mental and spiritual compulsion.
Stephanie Covington	The first step in recovery is to look inside ourselves. Turning inward is the beginning of becoming more truthful with ourselves. Honesty is essential because addictions thrive on dishonesty: we have become accustomed to hiding from our true feelings and values. (p. 15)
Gabor Maté	Step One accepts the full negative impact of the addiction process in one’s life. It is a triumph over the human tendency to deny. We recognize that our resolution and strategies… have not liberated us from the addiction process and all its mechanisms that are deeply ingrained in our brains, emotions and behaviours.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	By opening our hearts, admitting our powerlessness over alcohol, drugs, and other people’s choices, we are able to remember we are part of the great stream of We. (p. 11)

Step 2
Allen Berger	Hope is an important ingredient in all forms of healing. We are given hope, and humbled further because we won’t be able to solve our problem on our own.
Stephanie Covington	What can we believe in? Whom can we trust? The problem is that life is more difficult and empty without someone or something to trust and believe in. (p. 27)
Gabor Maté	(A higher power) may, but does not necessarily, imply belief in a deity. It means heeding a higher truth than the immediate desires or terrors of the ego. (Dr. Maté provides a fuller understanding of the higher power concept in chapter 34 of his book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts.)
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	We “come to” out of the fog of our deluded, addictive mind, reaching for something more. There, waiting for us, are the ancient practices of meditation and mindfulness. (p. 20)

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Step 3
Allen Berger	This Step is about commitment. We need to make a commitment to finding a new and more effective way of living.
Stephanie Covington	Of course, simple things aren’t always easy. This Step says we turn our will over. When we cling to our will – our fierce determination that things should always go our way – we’ll always be in conflict with something. Our wilfulness keeps us pushing against, not flowing with life. (p. 51)
Gabor Maté	The word God could have a religious meaning for many people. For many others, it means laying trust in the universal truths and higher values that reside at the spiritual core of human beings, but are feared and resisted by the grasping, anxious, past-conditioned ego.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	We decide to let go of our delusions of control, and instead turn toward three specific spiritual practices. These practices are… taking refuge in awakening (buddha)… in the path of mindfulness, understanding, and love (dharma)… in community (sangha). (p. 30)

Step 4
Allen Berger	The essence of this Step involves increasing our self-awareness, self-honesty, and insight into our behavior.
Stephanie Covington	When we carry intense guilt, we can hardly bear the thought of reviewing our past deeds. It may feel too painful to think about how we have hurt others and hurt ourselves. We may question the value of opening old wounds and remembering scenes we’d rather forget. It was a revelation to discover that Step Four wasn’t just about agonizing about my past. Instead, it was about getting to know myself better. (p. 59)
Gabor Maté	The idea here is not self-condemnation, but the preparation of a clean slate for a life of sobriety. We search our conscience to identify where and how we have betrayed ourselves or others, not to wallow in guilt but to leave ourselves unburdened in the present and to help clear our path to the future.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	In Step Four we are asked to look at parts of ourselves we are uncomfortable with, the parts that we reject and keep hidden out of fear or shame. (p. 49)

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Step 5
Allen Berger	We learn the value of self-disclosure, authenticity, and healthy relationships. This Step also continues to dismantle the false self and false pride and helps develop more humility and authenticity.
Stephanie Covington	The Fifth Step offers healing. It shows us how to create a new kind of relationship with people. We make ourselves vulnerable and open, allowing ourselves to be seen for who we really are, maybe for the first time. (p. 93)
Gabor Maté	Communicating the information – to ourselves in the form of a journal, or to some other human being – makes our moral self-searching into a concrete reality. Shame for ourselves is replaced by a sense of responsibility. We move from powerlessness to strength.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	When we admit our wrongs and receive the acceptance and kind understanding of another human being in the Fifth Step, we begin the “healing into the depths” of our addictive mind. Taking Step Five can be the start of cultivating loving compassion towards ourselves. (p. 67)

Step 6
Allen Berger	We experience the pain of what we have done to hurt ourselves and others, and we begin to understand and develop insight into our behavioral patterns and the psychological functions of our character defects.
Stephanie Covington	In this Step we become willing to be open to change, willing to let go of habits or traits that cause our lives to be unbalanced. We become open to a deeper knowing and a clearer vision. (p. 95)
Gabor Maté	We accept that our missteps and our lack of integrity do not represent who we really are and commit to let go of these tendencies as they continue to arise in the future – for they surely will.
Thérèse Jacob-Stewart	The Eastern view is that defects of character are rooted in confusion, based on deluded ideas about ourselves and others. Mindfulness practice develops the clarity to cut through our confusion, getting to the root of it. Once we become aware of a delusion, its spell is broken.  (p. 79)

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Step 7
Allen Berger	We are learning the importance of being vulnerable and asking for help. This is important in attaining more humility.
Stephanie Covington	But for all of our awareness, we may still not accept ourselves. Step Seven gives us the opportunity to move from self-awareness to self-acceptance. Acceptance is the key to change. Another paradox I have learned in recovery is that when I accept myself just as I am, I can change. (p. 120)
Gabor Maté	Our shortcomings are where we fall short of, and even lose sight of, our true potential Thus, in giving up the short-term rewards of addictive behaviours, we are choosing a vast enrichment of who we are. Humility is in order in place of pride, that desperate grandiosity of the ego.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	We felt the pain of our defects in Step Six. We find it uncomfortable to be self-absorbed, or bitter, or filled with fear. We don’t want to be separated from our true nature any longer; it’s painful to veil it in delusion and choke its expression. (p. 100)

Step 8
Allen Berger	The lessons taught in this Step have to do with the fundamentals of healthy communication; delivering our message to the proper person and being as specific as possible.
Stephanie Covington	Where is there ongoing bitterness, animosity, fear or hostility in our relationships? Whom do we resent or avoid? But as we continue to work this Step, we realize that “harm” has other meanings as well. We might want to consider relationships that feel unresolved  – whether we believe we’ve harmed someone or not. Is there unfinished business to attend to? (p. 122)
Gabor Maté	We are prepared to accept responsibility for each and every sin of commission or omission we have perpetrated on people in our lives.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	Finding Pearls in the Dust-bin: Step Eight invites us to strip off the armor of our denial, to let go of rationalizing, justifying, or blaming others for our actions. (p.115)

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Step 9
Allen Berger	We learn to be responsible for our behavior; we learn how to respect others; and we learn that we are as important as others, no more and no less.
Stephanie Covington	What does it mean to make amends to another person? It means taking responsibility for your part in a relationship. Responsibility refers to the ability to respond appropriately. When you do, you extend hope for something new to yourself and to another person. (p. 137)
Gabor Maté	Step Nine is not about us, but about others. Its purpose is not to make us feel or look good, but to provide restitution where that’s appropriate… Our fears of how we will look to others should neither drive this step nor inhibit it.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	Once we have atoned for our wrongs – even if the other person is not inclined to forgive us, even if this person is not willing to own his or her part in the difficulty – we need to let go… We can experience the relief of having no secrets, making no excuses, and holding no pretences. (p. 119)

Step 10
Allen Berger	This Step concerns maintaining our humility, being honest with ourselves, and guarding against false pride.
Stephanie Covington	Now we make a daily commitment to continuing observation and reflection – recognizing when we’re out of balance or hurting ourselves or others. Our ongoing awareness allows us to meet each day and each relationship with responsibility. (p. 152)
Gabor Maté	This is Step Four in action. As human beings, most of us are far away from attaining perfect saintliness in all our behaviours or interactions, and therefore can afford to give up the process of moral self-inventory only when they lower us into the ground.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	Ongoing mindfulness helps us notice the pressure in our chest, the hairs rising on our neck, or the toxic thoughts that precede an emotional hijack. Regular on-the-spot checks – before, during, or after our actions – help us have fewer emotional or relationship messes to clean up. (p. 131)

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Step 11
Allen Berger	Maintenance is not enough. We need to continue to grow or we will regress. This Step is about expanding our consciousness and continuing to seek more knowledge about our new way of life.
Stephanie Covington	We can choose whatever practice gives us a sense of inner peace. (p. 173)
Gabor Maté	This is not a demand for submission but a suggested path to freedom. Human life, I believe, is balanced on four pillars: physical health, emotional integration, intellectual awareness and spiritual practice. There are no prescriptions for the latter.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	In Step Eleven, we find that making conscious contact with Great Reality deep down within us provides a quiet peace, quenching, at last, our restless yearnings. (p. 143)

Step 12
Allen Berger	We develop a new purpose to our life that is not about us. We discover the importance of being of value to others, and we learn that we need to maintain our integrity in all our affairs.
Stephanie Covington	With recovery this can mean that we offer a straightforward explanation of the Twelve Steps, as well as our own personal experience – how we reworked, translated, revised, or otherwise molded the Steps until they were relevant to us. We all have more to offer than the party line and a by-the-book recitation of the Steps. We can share our story any way we like. (p. 188)
Gabor Maté	Carrying the message to others means manifesting the principles of integrity, truth, sobriety and compassion in our lives. It may call for providing support and leadership when appropriate and welcome, but does not mean proselytizing on behalf of any program, group or set of beliefs.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	Through the Twelve Step program, we cross over to a new way of living. We awaken to freedom from cravings, shallow desires, and clinging to what we cannot change… We can live the way of kindness in the world, in “all our affairs,” and let our true face shine. (p. 164)

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Conclusion

As we mention in the introduction to The Little Book, there are at least as many interpretations of the Steps as there are addicts who “work” them.

To provide a sense of the scope of these interpretations of the Steps, we have highlighted the interpretations of four people.

The first set of interpretations is by Dr. Allen Berger. An internationally recognized expert in the science of recovery, Dr. Berger wrote Hazelden’s popular recovery mainstay, 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery (2008); 12 Smart Things to Do When the Booze and Drugs Are Gone (2010) and 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends (2012). He is widely known for his work on several areas of recovery that include integrating modern psychotherapy with the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, emotional sobriety, and training therapists and counsellors. His most recent book is a must read: 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety.

The next author is Stephanie Covington. Her interpretations of the Steps are derived from her book, A Woman’s Way Through the Twelve Steps. Dr. Covington is a pioneer in the field of women’s issues, addiction, and recovery. According to Linda R., whose review of Covington’s book is on AA Agnostica, “the Steps are presented as tools to help alcoholics understand what their ultimate values are – their inner life – so that they can lead a life that is consistent with those values – their outer life – in their actions and relations with other people in the world around them.” Written in 1994, A Woman’s Way has become a favourite of many women in AA.

Next comes a set by Gabor Maté. Dr. Maté is the author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts. Dr. Maté writes at the beginning of the appendix:

Although I have not been an active participant in Twelve-Step programs, I see great value in the process they prescribe and recognize their effectiveness in helping many people to live in sobriety – or at least in abstinence. As explained in Chapter 32, abstinence is the disciplined avoidance of an addictive substance or behaviour. Sobriety is developing a mind-state focused not on staying away from something bad, but on living a life led by positive values and intentions. It means living in the present moment, neither driven by ghosts of the past nor lulled and tormented by fantasies and fears of the future.

Finally, we have a set of interpretations by Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart. Her interpretations were culled from her book Mindfulness and the 12 Steps. Ms. Jacobs-Stewart is a counsellor and a woman in recovery. In 2004 she founded the Mind Roads Meditation Center, a home to twelve steps and mindfulness meetings in St. Paul, Minnesota.

Our views on the meaning of some of these Steps tend to evolve over time.

So we often need to return to them.

Indeed, some in recovery do them over and over again.

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For a PDF of this article, click here: Step Interpretations.

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The post Step Interpretations first appeared on AA Agnostica.

Fifty Chosen Articles:
Number Forty-Nine.
On the Menu of AA Agnostica.

Four authors interpret each of the 12 Steps. This is a major part of
The Little Book: A Collection of Alternative 12 Steps.

---

Step 1
Allen Berger	This Step helps us shatter our reliance on a false self, which was fed through lack of self-awareness, poor self-worth, and lack of language, plus denial, and a physical, mental and spiritual compulsion.
Stephanie Covington	The first step in recovery is to look inside ourselves. Turning inward is the beginning of becoming more truthful with ourselves. Honesty is essential because addictions thrive on dishonesty: we have become accustomed to hiding from our true feelings and values. (p. 15)
Gabor Maté	Step One accepts the full negative impact of the addiction process in one’s life. It is a triumph over the human tendency to deny. We recognize that our resolution and strategies… have not liberated us from the addiction process and all its mechanisms that are deeply ingrained in our brains, emotions and behaviours.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	By opening our hearts, admitting our powerlessness over alcohol, drugs, and other people’s choices, we are able to remember we are part of the great stream of We. (p. 11)

Step 2
Allen Berger	Hope is an important ingredient in all forms of healing. We are given hope, and humbled further because we won’t be able to solve our problem on our own.
Stephanie Covington	What can we believe in? Whom can we trust? The problem is that life is more difficult and empty without someone or something to trust and believe in. (p. 27)
Gabor Maté	(A higher power) may, but does not necessarily, imply belief in a deity. It means heeding a higher truth than the immediate desires or terrors of the ego. (Dr. Maté provides a fuller understanding of the higher power concept in chapter 34 of his book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts.)
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	We “come to” out of the fog of our deluded, addictive mind, reaching for something more. There, waiting for us, are the ancient practices of meditation and mindfulness. (p. 20)

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Step 3
Allen Berger	This Step is about commitment. We need to make a commitment to finding a new and more effective way of living.
Stephanie Covington	Of course, simple things aren’t always easy. This Step says we turn our will over. When we cling to our will – our fierce determination that things should always go our way – we’ll always be in conflict with something. Our wilfulness keeps us pushing against, not flowing with life. (p. 51)
Gabor Maté	The word God could have a religious meaning for many people. For many others, it means laying trust in the universal truths and higher values that reside at the spiritual core of human beings, but are feared and resisted by the grasping, anxious, past-conditioned ego.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	We decide to let go of our delusions of control, and instead turn toward three specific spiritual practices. These practices are… taking refuge in awakening (buddha)… in the path of mindfulness, understanding, and love (dharma)… in community (sangha). (p. 30)

Step 4
Allen Berger	The essence of this Step involves increasing our self-awareness, self-honesty, and insight into our behavior.
Stephanie Covington	When we carry intense guilt, we can hardly bear the thought of reviewing our past deeds. It may feel too painful to think about how we have hurt others and hurt ourselves. We may question the value of opening old wounds and remembering scenes we’d rather forget. It was a revelation to discover that Step Four wasn’t just about agonizing about my past. Instead, it was about getting to know myself better. (p. 59)
Gabor Maté	The idea here is not self-condemnation, but the preparation of a clean slate for a life of sobriety. We search our conscience to identify where and how we have betrayed ourselves or others, not to wallow in guilt but to leave ourselves unburdened in the present and to help clear our path to the future.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	In Step Four we are asked to look at parts of ourselves we are uncomfortable with, the parts that we reject and keep hidden out of fear or shame. (p. 49)

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Step 5
Allen Berger	We learn the value of self-disclosure, authenticity, and healthy relationships. This Step also continues to dismantle the false self and false pride and helps develop more humility and authenticity.
Stephanie Covington	The Fifth Step offers healing. It shows us how to create a new kind of relationship with people. We make ourselves vulnerable and open, allowing ourselves to be seen for who we really are, maybe for the first time. (p. 93)
Gabor Maté	Communicating the information – to ourselves in the form of a journal, or to some other human being – makes our moral self-searching into a concrete reality. Shame for ourselves is replaced by a sense of responsibility. We move from powerlessness to strength.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	When we admit our wrongs and receive the acceptance and kind understanding of another human being in the Fifth Step, we begin the “healing into the depths” of our addictive mind. Taking Step Five can be the start of cultivating loving compassion towards ourselves. (p. 67)

Step 6
Allen Berger	We experience the pain of what we have done to hurt ourselves and others, and we begin to understand and develop insight into our behavioral patterns and the psychological functions of our character defects.
Stephanie Covington	In this Step we become willing to be open to change, willing to let go of habits or traits that cause our lives to be unbalanced. We become open to a deeper knowing and a clearer vision. (p. 95)
Gabor Maté	We accept that our missteps and our lack of integrity do not represent who we really are and commit to let go of these tendencies as they continue to arise in the future – for they surely will.
Thérèse Jacob-Stewart	The Eastern view is that defects of character are rooted in confusion, based on deluded ideas about ourselves and others. Mindfulness practice develops the clarity to cut through our confusion, getting to the root of it. Once we become aware of a delusion, its spell is broken.  (p. 79)

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Step 7
Allen Berger	We are learning the importance of being vulnerable and asking for help. This is important in attaining more humility.
Stephanie Covington	But for all of our awareness, we may still not accept ourselves. Step Seven gives us the opportunity to move from self-awareness to self-acceptance. Acceptance is the key to change. Another paradox I have learned in recovery is that when I accept myself just as I am, I can change. (p. 120)
Gabor Maté	Our shortcomings are where we fall short of, and even lose sight of, our true potential Thus, in giving up the short-term rewards of addictive behaviours, we are choosing a vast enrichment of who we are. Humility is in order in place of pride, that desperate grandiosity of the ego.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	We felt the pain of our defects in Step Six. We find it uncomfortable to be self-absorbed, or bitter, or filled with fear. We don’t want to be separated from our true nature any longer; it’s painful to veil it in delusion and choke its expression. (p. 100)

Step 8
Allen Berger	The lessons taught in this Step have to do with the fundamentals of healthy communication; delivering our message to the proper person and being as specific as possible.
Stephanie Covington	Where is there ongoing bitterness, animosity, fear or hostility in our relationships? Whom do we resent or avoid? But as we continue to work this Step, we realize that “harm” has other meanings as well. We might want to consider relationships that feel unresolved  – whether we believe we’ve harmed someone or not. Is there unfinished business to attend to? (p. 122)
Gabor Maté	We are prepared to accept responsibility for each and every sin of commission or omission we have perpetrated on people in our lives.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	Finding Pearls in the Dust-bin: Step Eight invites us to strip off the armor of our denial, to let go of rationalizing, justifying, or blaming others for our actions. (p.115)

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Step 9
Allen Berger	We learn to be responsible for our behavior; we learn how to respect others; and we learn that we are as important as others, no more and no less.
Stephanie Covington	What does it mean to make amends to another person? It means taking responsibility for your part in a relationship. Responsibility refers to the ability to respond appropriately. When you do, you extend hope for something new to yourself and to another person. (p. 137)
Gabor Maté	Step Nine is not about us, but about others. Its purpose is not to make us feel or look good, but to provide restitution where that’s appropriate… Our fears of how we will look to others should neither drive this step nor inhibit it.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	Once we have atoned for our wrongs – even if the other person is not inclined to forgive us, even if this person is not willing to own his or her part in the difficulty – we need to let go… We can experience the relief of having no secrets, making no excuses, and holding no pretences. (p. 119)

Step 10
Allen Berger	This Step concerns maintaining our humility, being honest with ourselves, and guarding against false pride.
Stephanie Covington	Now we make a daily commitment to continuing observation and reflection – recognizing when we’re out of balance or hurting ourselves or others. Our ongoing awareness allows us to meet each day and each relationship with responsibility. (p. 152)
Gabor Maté	This is Step Four in action. As human beings, most of us are far away from attaining perfect saintliness in all our behaviours or interactions, and therefore can afford to give up the process of moral self-inventory only when they lower us into the ground.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	Ongoing mindfulness helps us notice the pressure in our chest, the hairs rising on our neck, or the toxic thoughts that precede an emotional hijack. Regular on-the-spot checks – before, during, or after our actions – help us have fewer emotional or relationship messes to clean up. (p. 131)

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Step 11
Allen Berger	Maintenance is not enough. We need to continue to grow or we will regress. This Step is about expanding our consciousness and continuing to seek more knowledge about our new way of life.
Stephanie Covington	We can choose whatever practice gives us a sense of inner peace. (p. 173)
Gabor Maté	This is not a demand for submission but a suggested path to freedom. Human life, I believe, is balanced on four pillars: physical health, emotional integration, intellectual awareness and spiritual practice. There are no prescriptions for the latter.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	In Step Eleven, we find that making conscious contact with Great Reality deep down within us provides a quiet peace, quenching, at last, our restless yearnings. (p. 143)

Step 12
Allen Berger	We develop a new purpose to our life that is not about us. We discover the importance of being of value to others, and we learn that we need to maintain our integrity in all our affairs.
Stephanie Covington	With recovery this can mean that we offer a straightforward explanation of the Twelve Steps, as well as our own personal experience – how we reworked, translated, revised, or otherwise molded the Steps until they were relevant to us. We all have more to offer than the party line and a by-the-book recitation of the Steps. We can share our story any way we like. (p. 188)
Gabor Maté	Carrying the message to others means manifesting the principles of integrity, truth, sobriety and compassion in our lives. It may call for providing support and leadership when appropriate and welcome, but does not mean proselytizing on behalf of any program, group or set of beliefs.
Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart	Through the Twelve Step program, we cross over to a new way of living. We awaken to freedom from cravings, shallow desires, and clinging to what we cannot change… We can live the way of kindness in the world, in “all our affairs,” and let our true face shine. (p. 164)

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Conclusion

As we mention in the introduction to The Little Book, there are at least as many interpretations of the Steps as there are addicts who “work” them.

To provide a sense of the scope of these interpretations of the Steps, we have highlighted the interpretations of four people.

The first set of interpretations is by Dr. Allen Berger. An internationally recognized expert in the science of recovery, Dr. Berger wrote Hazelden’s popular recovery mainstay, 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery (2008); 12 Smart Things to Do When the Booze and Drugs Are Gone (2010) and 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends (2012). He is widely known for his work on several areas of recovery that include integrating modern psychotherapy with the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, emotional sobriety, and training therapists and counsellors. His most recent book is a must read: 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety.

The next author is Stephanie Covington. Her interpretations of the Steps are derived from her book, A Woman’s Way Through the Twelve Steps. Dr. Covington is a pioneer in the field of women’s issues, addiction, and recovery. According to Linda R., whose review of Covington’s book is on AA Agnostica, “the Steps are presented as tools to help alcoholics understand what their ultimate values are – their inner life – so that they can lead a life that is consistent with those values – their outer life – in their actions and relations with other people in the world around them.” Written in 1994, A Woman’s Way has become a favourite of many women in AA.

Next comes a set by Gabor Maté. Dr. Maté is the author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts. Dr. Maté writes at the beginning of the appendix:

Although I have not been an active participant in Twelve-Step programs, I see great value in the process they prescribe and recognize their effectiveness in helping many people to live in sobriety – or at least in abstinence. As explained in Chapter 32, abstinence is the disciplined avoidance of an addictive substance or behaviour. Sobriety is developing a mind-state focused not on staying away from something bad, but on living a life led by positive values and intentions. It means living in the present moment, neither driven by ghosts of the past nor lulled and tormented by fantasies and fears of the future.

Finally, we have a set of interpretations by Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart. Her interpretations were culled from her book Mindfulness and the 12 Steps. Ms. Jacobs-Stewart is a counsellor and a woman in recovery. In 2004 she founded the Mind Roads Meditation Center, a home to twelve steps and mindfulness meetings in St. Paul, Minnesota.

Our views on the meaning of some of these Steps tend to evolve over time.

So we often need to return to them.

Indeed, some in recovery do them over and over again.

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For a PDF of this article, click here: Step Interpretations.

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The post Step Interpretations first appeared on AA Agnostica.

Fifty Chosen Articles:
Number Forty-Seven.
Originally posted in March 2021.

Five inspiring songs, all about living in recovery.

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By Roger C

The road to recovery can be rough. The detox, the rehab… Even without those, the first few weeks and months without alcohol or drugs can be a challenge. But…

Life in recovery is often inspiring. Over time we discover how to live a good life, and to do that one day at a time. Who would have thought?

Today we have five inspiring songs, all about living in recovery, and what it’s all about. Enjoy!

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I Can See Clearly Now

Johnny Nash wrote and produced this song for his 1972 album of the same name. The song is about hope and courage for people who have experienced adversity in their lives, but have later overcome it. ‘I Can See Clearly Now’ reached number one in America, selling over a million copies. “It’s going to be a bright sunshiny day.” You will hear more about the sun in another one of today’s songs.

Here’s the song on YouTube and here are the lyrics.

I can see clearly now the rain is gone.
I can see all obstacles in my way.
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind.
It’s gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day.
It’s gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day.

Oh, yes I can make it now the pain is gone.
All of the bad feelings have disappeared.

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Let It Be

Well, the Beatles. I was one of 73 million people who saw the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show on February 9, 1964. Beginning two years earlier, they released over 300 songs and one of my favorites – something I understand in recovery – is “Let It Be”, released in 1970. This is a song that connects very well with the Serenity Wish (otherwise known as a prayer), often shared at AA meetings.

Paul McCartney wrote the song. Guilty of extreme substance abuse at the time, he had a dream in which his mother – her name was Mary and she had died ten years earlier – told him to “let it be”. Here are the lyrics and you can watch and listen to the song on YouTube. Whisper words of wisdom, my friends:

And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me
Shinin’ until tomorrow, let it be
I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

And let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

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Just for Today

My long time friend, Nina, also a member of our “We Agnostics” AA group in Hamilton, has written a song about her life in recovery. Sung by Nina with the harmonies by her daughter, you can listen to Just for Today and, if you wish, you can read and download the lyrics.

Just for today I’ll do everything right
Hold onto the bright side with all of my might
If this is the last day I spend with you
Then let it be joyful, authentic and true

Just for today I’ll be happy and bright
Just for today I’ll let go of the fight
Just for today I’ll love all that I am
Just for today I won’t give a damn
Just for today I won’t give a damn

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One Day at a Time

This song is about Joe Walsh’s recovery from heavy alcohol and cocaine addictions. As Joe put it “I got sober. It was not easy, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and I had to stop and learn how to do everything over again sober”. He then had “a wonderful life,” as he put. This song was released in 2012 and you can listen to it on YouTube and here are the lyrics for “One Day at a Time”.

Well I finally got around to admit that I might have a problem
But I thought it was just too damn big of a mountain to climb
Well I got down on my knees and said hey
I just cant go on livin’ this way
Guess I have to learn to live my life one day at a time

Oh yeah, one day at a time
Oh yeah, one day at a time

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Here Comes the Sun

Another Beatles song, this one written by George Harrison and, as part of the Abbey Road album, was released in 1969. As someone put it, “To me Here Comes the Sun is a good metaphor to forget the dark, cold past, and bask in the new warm sunlight, because good is on its way…” Well said. Here are the lyrics and here it is on YouTube.

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here

Here comes the sun do, do, do
Here comes the sun
And I say it’s all right

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it’s been clear

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For a PDF of the article (with all the links) click here: Songs about Recovery.

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The post Songs about Recovery first appeared on AA Agnostica.